In honor of Cirdan, Master Shipwright of the Gray Havens, today's posting
for the Screw Yule challenge is intended to be sung to the tune of "A Whale
of a Tale" from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.
Cirdan, Master Shipwright of the Gray Havens, sat on the deck of one of the
White Ships, waiting for the party of Hobbits, Elves, and a Wizard to arrive.
They were set to sail the Straight Road that day, and he had had his crews
working feverishly readying the ship.
The work was done, however, and all they had to do was wait. Sitting on the
ground, looking up at the older Elf, Galdor begged Cirdan to sing them a song
while they waited.
Clearing his throat, Cirdan began to sing this old Elven nautical song…
"Got a whale of a tale to tell ye lads,
a whale of a tale or two
'bout a horny Elf and the one he loved
a whale of a tale, and it's all true
I swear by Sweet Eru.
There was Fair Nimrodel
there were few who could match her
Who fell in bed with
any Elf who tried to catch her,
Then one evening Amroth came to call
Well blow me down and pick me up!
He fucked her in the hall.
Oh…
Got a whale of a tale to tell ye lads
A whale of a tale or two
'bout a horny Elf and the one he loved
a whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by Sweet Eru.
One night the Ellith
drank a keg or two of Elf wine
She was tipsy
more than that she was drunk blind
Out the door she wandered through the park
Well blow me down and pick me up
On me ship she did embark!
Oh…
Got a whale of a tale to tell ye lads
A whale of a tale or two
'bout a horny Elf and the one he loved
a whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by Sweet Eru.
This sweet young maid was
not as sweet as I'd been thinkin'
She'd see red when
ere she'd commence to drinkin'
We began to screw on me deck so long and thick
Well blow me down and pick me up
She nearly broke my dick.
Oh…
Got a whale of a tale to tell ye lads
A whale of a tale or two
'bout a horny Elf and the one he loved
a whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by Sweet Eru.
Then Amroth came to
the Havens like a rabid hound
Looking for Nimrodel
who'd fled for higher ground
Not finding her there, he pitched a fit and raised his sword
Well blow me down and pick me up
He fell right overboard.
Oh….
Got a whale of a tale to tell ye lads
A whale of a tale or two
'bout a horny Elf and the one he loved
a whale of a tale and it's all true
I swear by Sweet Eru."