"I tell you, Rúmil," said Orophin, leaning on his bow and surveying the land, "Haldir wouldn't be so edgy if an elleth would just come along and take care of the problem for us."

"What do you mean?" asked Rúmil, watching the happenings in the opposite direction. They were standing at guard atop a flet at the borders. There was no cause for alarm, only that it was a mandatory check time - sunrise - and things were quiet, both coming to Lothlórien and in the direction of the city.

"It's quite obvious, dear naïve brother," grinned Orophin. "Haldir needs to get laid."

"You mean Haldir needs to get layed."

"That's what I said," confirmed Orophin. "He needs to get laid."

Rúmil huffed. "You said laid, not layed. What do you want the maiden to do, pick him up and toss him onto the bed?"

"If it comes to that," mused Orophin with a silly smirk on his face. "But, come, Rúmil, it has to be laid, for if it was layed, he would be doing it all himself. Which I'm sure he's more than capable of, and yet, does not solve the problem."

"Do you think," came a voice from the corner, "you might have the courtesy to speak of this when I am not present?"

"Why would we do that, Haldir?" wondered Orophin. "You'd know it's you that we were talking about, and we hate to speak behind your back."

"Less talk, more guarding," suggested Haldir, pulling the blanket over his head in an attempt to drown them out. He loved his brothers, but he hated guarding with them. There was no way to get any rest while the pair took their shift together. He absently wondered if the blindfolds they kept with them would work as gags.

"So, Haldir," began Orophin after a mere ten seconds of silence, "which do you think it is? Laid or layed?"

Resisting an urge to kick one or both brothers from the tree, Haldir answered from under his blanket, "Layed isn't a word. It's 'I want to get laid', not 'I want to get layed'."

"Oh, so he does want to be laid, then!" Orophin said gleefully as Rúmil sighed in defeat.

"What I want is to get some rest!" exclaimed Haldir. He then mumbled, "I wish I could just go to bed."

"Yes, we know," smirked Orophin.

Snorting in disgust, Haldir whipped off the blanket, shoved it under his arm, and made for the ladder. "I'll be in that tree right over there. Come and get me for my shift, and not a moment sooner," he instructed tersely, climbing down the tree.

Orophin and Rúmil watched him go. Once he was out of range to hear them, Rúmil said, "He definitely needs to get laid."