Glorfindel: *Leaning back in a chair, a little banged up*

Ecthelion: Man, that balrog really got you good, kid.

Glorfindel: *Sighing* Yeah, I know. I've gotta be more careful. If only the princess were here, she'd be able to make me feel better.

Ecthelion: Dream on, kid. She'd never go for you, she's in love with me.

*Pause*

Glorfindel: *loudly and toward the offstage area* Well, we won't know unless she comes in here and KISSES one of us.

Erestor: *From offstage* You can find someone else for this nonsense, Fin!

Glorfindel: Erestor, you-- I mean, Leia, you said you'd do the scene!

Erestor: You said this was an action film! I'm not coming out there in this... this... thing...

Ecthelion: *whispering to Fin* Glorfindel, Leia doesn't wear a dress in this scene.

Glorfindel: Why not? She's a princess.

Ecthelion: Dude, she's like the leader of the rebellion, too. She could take your arm off if she wanted. She's a jedi, Fin.

Glorfindel: Nuh-uh. Obi Elrond said I was the Jedi, like my father.

Ecthelion: Yeah, and you and the princess have the same father.

Glorfindel: Oh, gross. *thinks* And she still kissed him?

Ecthelion: Dude, she doesn't know they are brother and sister.

Glorfindel: So who get the girl?

*Ecthelion sits back and grins.*

Glorfindel: Figures. *leans back again and then glances at Ecthelion* Dude?

*Ecthelion shrugs as 'Princess' Erestor comes into the room, looking rather defiant.*

Erestor: Why you stuck-up scruffy-looking half-witted warg-herder!

Ecthelion: Hey, who's scruffy-loooking?

Erestor: *Turning to Fin, who is looking quite please now* Don't worry, Fin, I wouldn't mess up this celebration by refusing you your kiss in this scene.

*Glorfindel perks up and sticks his tongue out at Ecthelion*

Erestor: Luckily, my stunt double happened to be on set today.

Glorfindel: Stunt double?

Erestor: *Carefully minding the dress he's been stuck in and calling off stage* Mr. Wormtongue, we're ready for your close up!

*Glorfindel can't get out of his chair fast enough as Grima races on set in full costume and accompanying side buns*

Grima: Sister, Schmister, I've been practicing this scene all week. Come back, Luke Skywalker! *Runs after Glorfindel*

Ecthelion: *chuckling* Fin is not going to be happy when he finally loses Grima and finds you.

Erestor: *pondering this, then slaps the laughing Ecthelion upside his head* Laugh it up, fuzz-ball.

Arwen is lounging on a couch in Rivendell after Estel has gone off on some quest or another. Suddenly, arrows start being shot down the corridor. She sits up and looks as a grey-clad figure suddenly opens the door the rest of the way.

He stops and looks at Arwen without saying anything. She cocks her head to the side and says, "Aren't you a little short to be one of the Galadhrim?"

"What?" Haldir takes off the battle helmet he was wearing and tosses it to the side. "Sorry, couldn't hear you. And anyway, we're here to rescue you."

"Rescue me?" Arwen looks puzzled. "I don't need to be rescued."

"That's what the script says, that's what we're going to do." Haldir grabs Arwen by the wrist and pulls her into the hallway. Orophin is standing at the end of the hall next to a furry creature.

"What's going on up there?" calls a voice from the stairs below.

"Uh, n-nothing, Master Erestor, uh... we had a slight weapons malfunction but, uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?" Orophin winces and the furry thing slaps him upside the head.

"I'm sending Lord Glorfindel up there," Erestor calls up the stairs.

"Uh, uh, negative. We had a, um, a miruvor leak up here now. Give us a minute to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous."

"Elladan? Elrohir? Wait, who is this?" shouts Erestor, starting to make his way up the steps.

"Uh..." Orophin slams the door shut and bars is with a chair. "Boring conversation anyway... Hal! We're going to have company!"

The furry thing stomps his foot. "Great. Just great. Master Erestor is going to make us stop, and I didn't even get to play a good part."

"You're playing a very important role, Rumil. Everyone wants to be the wookie!"

"But wookies don't wear long fluffy blue ears, and white puffy tail, and a big pink bow-tie!" Rumil huffs.

Orophin takes one look at him and pats him on the head. "Oh, but you look adorable." The handle of the door jiggles and Orophin pushes Rumil down the hallway.

Back at Arwen's room, things aren't going well, and Haldir has only been able to get her into the hallway. "I don't WANT to be rescued! Can't you understand that!"

"It's in the book! It's in the movie! Look, princess, you're getting rescued." Haldir tells her, tugging on her arm.

"AHHH-DAAAHHHH!" She screams. From two doors down, a head pokes out of the doorway.

"Aw, crap!"

"It's Obi Elrond!"

"It's okay. He's on our side," Haldir says.

"Save me, Ada Elrond, you're my only hope!" cries out Arwen.

Elrond narrows his eyes and heads out of his study. All three lorien brothers gulp as he approaches.

"But.. But... He's on our side!" stutters Haldir.

Elrond pauses and looks at Haldir's hand. "Are you touching my daughter without her permission?"

"Uh..." Haldir looks down at his hand and lets go of Arwen. All three brothers look around in panic. "There!" Haldir points to a large hole in the wall.

"Halli, that's a garbage chute!" whines Rumil as he looks down into it. Before he can comment further, Haldir pushes him down.

"Oh, that was gross," says Orophin, peering into the tunnel.

"You're next," says Haldir.

"Oh, no. I'm using the stairs." Orophin heads toward the door, sees the handle still jiggling and walks back. "On second thought..."

Haldir approaches the hole and gets a good wiff of the tunnel. "Yeesh..." He turns around and thinks perhaps of pleading his case, but Elrond gives him a very upset look.

"Do not make me use force to remove you from my house," he warns.

Haldir sighs and, pinching his nose, slides down the chute.

Elrond walks to the door and pulls the chair away to let Erestor into the hallway. "How many more of these outbursts can I expect today?"

"One if we hold to the original movies, three if we extend things," Erestor informs him.

Elrond takes a good look at Erestor. "Should I ask why you're wearing a dress?"

"I haven't had time to change yet," Erestor says.

Elrond blinks. "Erestor, it has been hours."

"And mere seconds in the life of an elf."

Elrond shakes his head. "I shall be in my study," he says.

Erestor looks at Arwen, and then around the hallway. "Where did those three mischief makers go?" Arwen points to the hole in the wall. "Ai! They'll never make it out of that place alive," he says, scurrying down the steps and shaking his head.

"I really should have warned them that was the passage to Estel's rooms," Arwen nods.

Galadriel is walking through a forest, minding her own business. Suddenly, a large fluffy rabbit pops up from nowhere.

Bunny: Oootini! Yub Yub!

Galadriel: Aiya!

Bunny: *sniffing at the elleth* Yub? E-chauka?

Galadriel: What madness is this?

Bunny: *insistently sniffing* Doh wauh yub yub!

Galadriel: *Reaching into her pocket* You want some lembas?

Bunny: Yub! *Reaches up and snatches the lembas in its sharp pointy teeth.

Galadriel: *Looks around and suddenly notices lots of pairs of glowing eyes staring out from the bushes and trees. More bunnies emerge, some carrying pointy sticks* Ai! Celeborn!

Celeborn: *Celeborn strolls over and looks around* Ah, it seems we have stumbled into the tribal homelands of the Ebunnies, an advanced race of plot bunny. Fascinating.

Galadriel: Well, let's just stumble out of here.

Celeborn: Here, take my hand. *As he offers it to her, the hood of his cloak falls down over his shoulders, revealing his long silver hair. The bunnies suddenly stop their movement and drop their weapons and begin to bow down to Celeborn.*

Galadriel: What's all this?

Celeborn: *Assessing the situation* Like you, they must think me their god...

Galadriel: *sighing* This is ridiculous. Galadhrim!

*Haldir, Orophin, and Rumil (still in his bunny, er, wookie suit) all run forward, and are immediately snagged in a net that hoists them high above ground.*

Orophin: I have a bad feeling about this... *sniffing* Oh, gods, Rumil, how long since you've bathed?

Rumil: This furry suit makes me all sweaty, it isn't my fault!

Haldir: That's it, I'm out. Let us down!

Bunny: Ootoh yub yub! Numo! Numo!

Orophin: What's he saying?

Haldir: I don't speak rabbit!

Orophin: Some linguistic genius you are!

Celeborn: Luckily for you, I am fluent in over 6 million languages, including the--

Brothers: What's he saying?!

Celeborn: Well, I'm not entirely sure, but either you've been invited to dinner, or you are dinner.

Haldir: *after a pause* Oh, well, is that all?

Orophin: I *still* have a bad feeling about this...

*Erestor walks up to the group, no longer clad in the dress, but now wearing Jedi Robes. He looks over those watching him and begins to move away.*

Haldir: Halt! We gathered to find out about the dress, and we want some answers.

Erestor: *making a bit of a waving motion using two fingers* You don't really care about the dress.

Haldir: I don't really care about the dress.

Erestor: *motioning again* I was never wearing one.

Haldir: You were never wearing one.

Erestor: These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Haldir: These aren't the droids we're looking for.

Erestor: Move along.

Haldir: *Motioning for Erestor to pass* Move along. *Looks at the crowd* Okay, break it up, nothing to see here, places everyone, get ready for the next scene...

Elladan: Arwen, great news! We finally found someone to play Jar-Jar Binks!

Arwen: If it's Jar-Jar Binks, I'm not doing the scene! I don't care how well I can immitate Amidala.

Elorhir: It's definately NOT Jar-Jar Binks. Close your eyes and wait right here!

*Arwen closes her eyes and waits for what seems an eternity.*

Elladan: Okay, you can open them now!

*Arwen blinks her eyes open and stares with her jaw hanging.*

Elorhir: Go ahead! Say your line!

Arwen: I don't think-

Elladan: Come one, everyone's waiting!

Arwen: *sigh* How did you end up here with us?

*** Twenty Minutes Later ***

Arwen: *through clenched teeth* I'm going to enjoy killing you both with my bare hands.

Elladan: *trying to stay awake* It was El's idea.

Elrohir: zzzzzz

Treebeard: aaannnnnnddddd.... Pow!.... Meeeeee-saaaaa heeeerrrrreeee. Meeeeee-saaaaaaa getttttt-innnnnnn verrrrrrrrr-yyyy verrrrrrrr-yyyyyy scarrrreddddd....