Haldir Gets Laid by Zhie
Summary: It's it great when the story's title is the summary, too? Big thanks to Dragonfly for betaing and Lassar, Malinornë, and Nienna for translations.
Categories: Stories of Arda > Bunniverse (PPB-AU) > Fourth Age Characters: Elodien, Haldir, Legolas
Awards: None
Challenge: None
Genre: Romantic
Special Collection: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Word count: 5150 Read: 27817 Published: October 04 2008 Updated: October 04 2008

1. Chapter 1 by Zhie

2. Chapter 2 by Zhie

3. Chapter 3 by Zhie

4. Epilogue by Zhie

Chapter 1 by Zhie
"You're home late."

"Yes, because I stayed at work late."

Elodien rolled her eyes. "Really, you think?" she mumbled as Haldir walked past her and dropped down onto the couch. His boots were kicked off onto the floor over the side of the couch and he fluffed a pillow for himself before lounging with one knee bent and the other leg propped up over the arm of the sofa.

"Please, love, I'm tired," he complained, throwing an arm over his eyes, though there was little more than a soft glow lighting the room.

Closing the door with a sigh, Elodien walked into the parlor and sat herself in a chair, crossing her arms and glaring at her husband with more than mild annoyance. "You worked in the Golden Woods how many hundreds and hundreds of years, and now you have the chance to rest. Instead, what do you do? Wear yourself out so that you do little more than eat and sleep when you come home."

"Setting up a library is not something that happens in a day. As soon as Erestor has enough others helping, I promise you, I will be home more."

"You aren't going to quite the job entirely, are you?"

"Old habits die hard," he finally answered. "I like working, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, that I'm doing something for the greater good." Sensing her irritability, he asked, "So, how was your day?"

"Fine."

Half-growling, half-sighing, he tried again. "What did you do today?"

"What makes you think I did anything?"

"Fine." Haldir waited to see if she would answer, and then said, "I really want to know what you did today."

"Are you sure you won't fall asleep right in the middle of me telling you as you did last night?" prodded Elodien.

"Dear one, I only have so much strength at the end of the night when I return," he sighed. "Do you understand, I really want to listen to everything you tell me, but sometimes I am too tired to keep my eyes open."

"You don't have to keep your eyes open," Elodien assured him. "You just have to stay awake."

"Instead of discussing the prospect of discussing your day, why don't we just discuss your day?"

"Let's see…after I awoke this morning, I got dressed, and then, I brushed my hair before eating breakfast…" Elodien's lips curled into a smile as she heard the exhausted groan come from her husband. "Well, if it's boring you-"

"No, no, love, just-" He paused here to yawn, more a bit of acting than truly due to fatigue, and added, "-just tell me the things you did that you don't normally do." Usually, he would enjoy these games back and forth with her, but over the last few weeks, since offering to help Erestor to set up the new library, he came home nearly drained. "Did anyone come to call today?"

"Yes, Glorfindel did, and I often wonder why it is he is not being put to work on this project."

"Libraries operate better when you can actually find the books," Haldir said dryly.

"Well, there was Glorfindel, he came by for tea, and we talked. Actually, I asked questions, and he did most of the talking, but I like it that way," admitted Elodien.

Haldir smirked. "Considering the fact that Glorfindel likes to talk, I think you both must have enjoyed yourselves. What else did you do?"

"Nothing really. Wait, Legolas did give me another lesson in Elvish."

"Sindarin or Quenya?"

"I don't know," Elodien answered. "A little bit of both, I think."

"Does he even bother to tell you what he's teaching you?"

"Of course he does," snorted Elodien indignantly. "Do you want me to say some of it?"

"Sure."

Drumming her fingers now on the arm of her chair, she said, "You don't sound all that thrilled."

"Go ahead."

"I get the feeling you aren't very interested," she accused.

"That isn't it. It's just…it's nice to hear you say words in Quenya and Sindarin, however, until you can speak more fluently, it is frustrating that we cannot carry on conversations. Go ahead, please, tell me what you have learned today."

The fingers continued to drum until finally, Elodien said, "A helta ar caita caimanna."

"Mana quentelyë?" Haldir was upright on the couch in a matter of seconds. He realized after a moment that her limited vocabulary likely enteented her from knowing what he had asked, and repeated in Westron, "What did you say?"

"A helta ar caita caimanna." Elodien grinned. "It's Quenya," she added happily.

Nearly having to lift his jaw from the ground, Haldir managed to ask, "Legolas taught you that?"

"And also, ribo chemmaid lín a caetho na chaust. Which is Sindarin," she said, accenting each syllable of the last word.

"I know bloody well what language you're speaking in!" Haldir's eyes were wide and he was gripping the nearest arm of the sofa with not one, but both hands. "What else has Legolas been teaching you?"

"Oh, I don't think I should really go through all of that right now," she said with a sly grin. "What with how tired you are…and really, you only have so much strength…" Her lips were in a pout now, and she batted her lashes at him.

Growling predatorily, Haldir began to stand as he said, "I'm getting a second wind. Now, what other phrases has dear Legolas taught you?"

"A helta ar caita caimanna."

"Yes, I know you know that already, very good, but what else?" purred Haldir as he closed in, but Elodien shook her head and pointed to the door that led to the bedroom.

"A helta ar caita caimanna."

Stopping suddenly, Haldir slowly looked to the bedroom and then back to Elodien in realization. Just to be sure, he put a hand upon his breast and Elodien nodded with a wicked glint in her eye. Elodien stood up and circled Haldir once, twice, then stood behind him and leaned over to speak into his ear.

"If I can hold conversation with you for the rest of the evening without uttering a single word in Westron, you will send word that the rest of the week I have you to myself. I think you will find that agreeing to this will be to your advantage," she whispered, running her tongue along the curve of his ear for good measure, just in case he had any idea of going back to the couch to fall asleep.

Elodien took the shiver that ran through his body to mean that he agreed with her terms, and took advantage of his bout of passivity. Closing her eyes, she wrapped her hands over his shoulders, kneading the powerful muscles, before sliding her palms down his arms, wishing he had followed her command already, that there would be no cloth to hinder her exploration of his body. Kissing the back of his neck, she smirked as her fingers were jbarebarely able to sneak their way under the waist of the back of his breeches, glad that he preferred those that laced to anything with a belt.

Pulling her hands away suddenly, she was not caught off her guard as Haldir spun around and made an attempt to grab hold of her wrists. Though by her count it had been long since her days as a ranger, for an elf she was far from out of practice. She easily defended the attack before launching her own, and in the end, the pair stood facing one another with fingers entwined.

So often, Elodien reflected, she was the timid one in such encounters, and enjoyed Haldir's bold nature. Lately, he had found other projects to entertain himself with, and though she knew time was not something of great relevance, she had also heard that the majority of elves tended to lose interest in love making after a certain span of time. Initially she had worried, but finally decided that this was not likely the case - did Gal Galadriel and Celeborn provide a certain tangible proof to all of Valinor that not all elves came to know this fate?

Even more importantly, was not Haldir Celeborn's son? Was it not said that children strive to exceed the fortune and abilities of their parents? Try as she might, Elodien was unable to suppress a delightful look as her gaze perused the handsome, and unfortunately, fully clothed elf before her.

"What are you smiling about?" questioned Haldir, grinning back as Elodien whetted her lips. Fingers still interlaced, he closed the distance between them and sealed his lips over her inviting mouth. He was incapable of gasping as she somehow managed to pull his tongue into her mouth and suckle it, sending an unquestionable message to the rest of his body, especially the chief decision maker in such cases, which happened to reside due south.

Releasing him, Elodien found Haldir's grip on her hands had loosened considerably. Turning her back on her stunned husband, Elodien smiled to herself as she walked away from him to the bedroom door. As she glanced over her shoulder, it was not a smirk he was given, but an invitingly sensual stare. Looking him over once more, she said, "Aphado nin."


Continued...

- - -

Translations:

(Q) A helta ar caita caimanna
Take off your clothes and lie down on the bed.

(S) Ribo chemmaid lín a caetho na chaust
Fling your clothing and lie down on the bed

(Q) Mana quentelyë?
What did you say?

(S) Aphado nin.
Follow me.
Chapter 2 by Zhie
"Holo i fen."

Haldir did as he was instructed this time, kicking the door shut with his foot as he entered the bedroom. Living in the King's Kastle definitely had its advantages. First, he didn't have to worry about family members meandering into their quarters. Second, the bedrooms - as well as the beds - in the inn were sinfully large, so that when Thranduil had extended such invitation, little time was needed to convince Haldir to move.

He sauntered halfway to the bed, regarding her through half-lidded eyes, one hand busying itself with the laces of his pants. He paused when he was within distance for Elodien to see everything quite clearly, as she had drawn back the curtains at the foot of the bed only, and was propped up against the pillows awaiting him.

Keeping his eyes trained on her, he slowly unfastened his vest and let it slide back onto the floor. His shirt was little trouble to remove either, and soon joined the pile at his feet. As for his breeches and undergarment, he opted to sit on the edge of the bed so as to take them off in a more dignified manner than hopping around the room as he tried to yank them off would have presented.

Elodien tried in vain to recall the word for modesty in any language but Westron, finally settling on saying, "Thiach maer hell," as he stood.

"Hannon le," he replied as he reached behind his back to unravel the long braid that kept his hair in check, but Elodien shook her head.

"Caetho dad."

Smirking, and blushing slightly at the idea of being ordered around in such a fashion, he said, "Be iest lín," as he climbed onto the bed, crawling up over her. He leaned down to kiss her nose and shifted his weight slightly.

Not about to have such a short conversation, Elodien stopped Haldir from lying down atop her with a swat to the rear and a bit of a shove, so that he rolled onto his back to her left.

Still clothed herself, Elodien did not waste the opportunity, and quickly straddled his waist. Their fingers were soon interlaced once more, and they found themselves engaged in a duel as their lips locked, each one wishing to assert certain dominance over the other. It was Elodien who won the round, more on the principle that Haldir was curious what she would do next.

Closing his eyes and tipping his head back slightly in defeat, he moaned deeply as her mouth attacked him yet again, this time sng ong out his throat. He gripped her hands tighter as she moved in no particular pattern to his neck, chest, and shoulders, nipping, kissing, biting, and tasting as the moment suited her. Haldir was fairly certain he would have to stay home for an entire week at least, lest anyone see the signs of her amorous mood.

There was one spot in particular that she had saved traveling to, and she explored the area now, closing her mouth over the tender place at the base of the side of his neck, just where it met his shoulder. She knew the reaction, and was prepared as his head jerked back and his body arched slightly, eyes wide open now as a cry of pure pleasure escaped his lips.

Licking the area she had bitten, Elodien felt most of Haldir relax beneath her once more, but a gentle reminder was issued via a slight twitch from the pulsing member that was kept hidden for now, restrained by her stomach and separated from her by her dress. Elodiovedoved to the opposite side, and brought forth a groan now that her lover was prepared for the second assault.

Sitting up to look down upon her work, she giggled at the miscellaneous marks she had made on his fair skin, and was greeted with a look that appeared unamused. Elodien untangled her fingers from his, and set to touching and tracing her path on his skin. She barely registered that his hands were free now, and fully realized this as he slid them from her ankles to her calves, from her calves to her knees, and from there to her thighs, pushing back the skirt of her dress as he made his way along. He nearly grinned when he found that there was no further hindrance, and gripping his hands around her waist, pulled her forward.

Elodien gave a little yelp upon finding herself sitting on his upper chest now. Another slight adjustment forward, and she could feel warm breath teasing her body below. Biting her lower lip at the sensation, her legs trembled slightly and she made to pull her dress over her head, but this action was restrained.

Gripping his wife's wrists, Haldir began his own torture upon her body, tasting just enough to whet his appetite, and yet not nearly enough for Elodien, who tried as she might through her mewls to attain a position closer, to feel more than the mere tip of his tongue on the already warm, wet area hidden between her legs.

At some point, she resigned herself to the fact she would get no closer unless he allowed, and eventually rested her palms on either side of him, to better balance herself and permit him further access, if he so chose. The soft noises Elodien had been making were cut short as she felt a sudden breach, and she replaced her former vocalizations with deep throaty sounds. Peering down, she saw his hands were no longer idle, one continuing to tease her as he lickes lis lips, while three fingers of the other were buried somewhere she without a doubt felt but could not see.

Knowing that somehow there had been a point made to only use non-Westron words, Haldir was unable to help himself as he smirked up at the beauty before him, lips parted and openly panting without hesitation. Flexing the fingers that were inside her, he himself shuddered at the moan she released. "You breath so loud, I could fuck you in the dark," he drawled, and he smiled as he not only heard her gasp, but felt her tighten her internal grip upon him.

Slowly slipping his fingers from her, he languidly drew each digit into his mouth to clean them off, relishing the taste. When he finished, he blew a kiss up at her and said, "Ribo chemmaid lín a caetho na chaust."


- - -


Translations:

(S) Holo i fen.
Close the door.

(S) Thiach maer hell.
You look good naked.

(S) Hannon le.
Thank you.

(S) Caetho dad.
Lie down.

(S) Be iest lín.
As you wish.

(S) Ribo chemmaid lín a caetho na chaust
Fling your clothing and lie down on the bed
Chapter 3 by Zhie
It had taken her very little time to remove what garments she did have on, which, to her dismay and pleasure, were a bit damp in certain areas. Her pout as she tossed her dress through the opened curtains caused Haldir to chuckle as he drew himself up enough to be in position to push her down onto the mattress.

With Elodien on her back, Haldir moved next to her and settled on his side, his right arm propped on the pillow and his hand kng hng his head up. leftleft hand snaked over her leg, dipping back into the silken folds: teasing, touching, caressing, and thrusting. All the while, Elodien gripped the bed sheets as the delicious torture continued, whimpering as she realized she did not know how to ask him for what she wanted.

Reaching one trembling hand to his less-occupied one, Elodien tried to place his upon her, but he pulled it away and grinned. "Baw," he said, and then came a long string of words Elodien did not know, after which he regarded her intensely, his eyes questioning. She whimpered and whined and even thrashed a bit when she found he intended to do nothing further. Again she reached for him, but Haldir shifted away and whispered the words again, and yet another sentence she could not comprehend, and then more, of which all she knew was her own name.

He did not cease his movement when she failed to respond, however, he did slow, and this only caused her frustration to build. "Ú-chenion!" she finally called out, desperately not wanting to give in. Pausing his current ministrations, Haldir bent over Elodien and kissed her nose, then licked his tongue over her lips as the fingers of his right hand moved lightly over her breasts. Elodien cried out, giving Haldir access to her mouth, and he repaid her fully for the earlier incident.

As her tongue was pulled into his mouth, her muffled cries were punctuated by a sudden muted gasp as he thrust his fingers deeper, and then stopped abruptly. Elodien regarded Haldir through her half-closed eyes, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps as he took hold of one of her hands in his, placed a kiss upon her wrist, and laid it upon her breast. He did the same with her other hand, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Tiriathon," he said slowly, letting the words linger. Elodien whimpered, shutting her eyes. She did not move her hands at first, opting to concentrate on what his hands were doing, but Haldir clicked his tongue and began to remove his damp fingers from down below. Immediately, Elodien complied with his request, massaging her own body as Haldir hovered over her and watched her movements. "Maer…" he said softly, leaning in to nip her earlobe, running his tongue along the curve.

Elodien's ministrations were timid at first, but soon she learned that the attention Haldir gave the rest of her body was directly proportional to the show she gave to him. Still too shy to open her eyes, she let her fingers stray to one swollen peak, and gasped when she realized how firm it was, and how sensual the feeling was that came from it.

Blushing, she moved back to safer territory, but she knew Haldir had seen and heard. She could not know his next move, but felt him as his cheek nudged her hands away. He took the rosy bud into his mouth, causing Elodien to cry out again as he flicked his tongue against her, his right hand tending to the opposite side, as her own hands dropped down into the bed sheets, fingers curled, gripping the fabric. She wanted to touch him, but the feel of his skin would make her lose what little restrain she had, and her intention had not been to sate only her own desire.

"Sedho a mibo nin," he said, and Elodien felt his hands leave her, and though she cried out, it was caught in his throat. She made no sound as he continued to silently, yet ardently kissed her, but her eyes widened in terror as she registered the sound he no doubt heard before she had.

Footsteps in the hall approaching their quarters, and the click of the handle on the main door leading to their rooms. Whether it was a maid, a friend, or perhaps even the master of the inn himself, they could not be certain. Unable to speak her frustration at the sudden intrusion, she pinched Haldir's arm instead and gave him a look that accused him of not locking the door.

He pulled himself away slightly and cocked his head to the side and looked at her lasciviously, obviously blaming her for being the one who started it, then leaned in and nipped her pouting bottom lip playfully. Elodien shivered, but maintained her silence, vowing revenge once the intruder had left.

The situation seemed dire, for both of their heads turned to the door, noting the handle to their room had moved slightly. Fearing the worst, Haldir grasped a sheet that had been left forgotten and pulled it up so that it at least covered his wife. The movement of the handle stopped abruptly, and the paces quickened, retreating, until the outer door was finally closed - rather loudly, they noted - and locked from the outside.

Elodien giggled now that the threat had passed, but she had little time for such mirth as she felt the hands of her lover on and in her once more. "Le aníron," growled Haldir in a low and possessive voice.

"Gerich nin," she replied, not knowing he was not yet finished with what he had wanted to say. Elodien did not give him the chance to speak as she initiated their kissing once again, her hand snaking down beneath the covers where he could not see its movement. His calls of passion were caught by her now as her hand wrapped itself around his hardened member, and he could not help but thrust forward instinctively.

He yanked the covers away from her and was atop her in seconds, hungrily taking in her beauty in the dim room, for she had a certain luminosity that radiated from her and appeared to glow brighter in such moments of passion. "Merin sa quetuval essenya írë mapuvanyel," he requested slowly, for Sindarin in his mind did not do lovemaking the justice Quenya did, and he hoped that Elodien would understand.

Even if she had not known the words he used, she knew the meaning of it, from the way his eyes looked upon her and his body had tensed in readiness. "Ányë amapta, Haldir!" The words slipped softly from her lips as her eyes fluttered shut and she waited to see - nay, to feel - if she had spoken correctly.

Her wait was not long, and she gladly accepted the smooth length into her body, willingly, achingly, as she heard his contented sigh. He had been slow, careful, but he hadn't need be. Elodien was more than prepared for his invasion, gentle or otherwise, and she moaned as she gripped his shoulders, hoping he would not linger.

Haldir did not disappoint her, understanding every last mewl and groan she made, no matter how insignificant they may have seemed. They were not merely sounds of satisfaction, for hidden within each moan was a plea, if only he could discover the meaning. In the years they had been together, he had learned what each of them meant, knew exactly how to move, and when, and how fast, and what to touch as he did so.

So often he heard of those who no longer took joy in such bliss, ding ing to no longer have such sensual relations with their mate, for sex had become nothing more than a perfected rhythm. Interestingly enough, it had been an elf regarded for being silly and impractical that he had learned the most important thing about marriage from.

- - -

"Haldir," Glorfindel had told him the day before he was to be married, "the most important thing about marriage is not to have sex."

He had stared at Glorfindel for nearly two minutes, thinking him drunk, before the elf chuckled and said to him, "Sex, correctly performed, takes less than two minutes and results a year later in the birth of an elfling. If you want to have any fun at all, do not have sex."

Still not understanding, Haldir continued to stare at the other elf, beginning to wonder if saying yes when Glorfindel asked if he wanted to receive the best advice ever was the correct thing to say. "Sex is for elves that cannot and do not understand the true pleasure of things."

"If Inot not supposed to have sex," Haldir ventured uneasily, "what ever am I to do tomorrow night? Play checkers?"

Laughing again, Glorfindel answered, "You are to make love to your bride, you silly thing."

Haldir blinked. "What's the difference?"

"As I mentioned, sex takes under two minutes. Lovemaking takes considerably longer, as lovemaking is just like sex, only done horribly, horribly wrong. So, if you want to have a good marriage," reiterated Glorfindel, "don't ever, ever, ever have sex."

- - -

He hadn't quite understood the knowledge he had been given at first, but as the years passed, he slowly began to. If he had wanted, he could have put Elodien over the edge almost as soon as he had entered her silky smooth passage. But he didn't want to.

What Haldir wanted was to hear all of the sounds she made while he moved within her body, to listen to the groaning, the gasping, the grunting as she braced herself for his next thrust. Each moan, each mewl, each mumbled whisper of his name as his hands caressed her skin, licked her jaw, and nuzzled her neck.

Her throat glistened with a fine sheen of sweat, and Haldir bent his head, running his tongue up the pale column, kissing her chin, along her jaw, beneath her ear, and whispered a single word to her. Just one word, and a sharp cry came from her lips, his name part of the nearly incoherent panting that followed.

Although Elodien relaxed a bit now, Haldir did not relent in his pace. If anything, he put forth a stronger effort, plunging so deep that he felt he could lose himself forever in the rush of it. He didn't know if ever he could admit it to her, and hoped she only knew, that when he looked upon her like this, completely undone and utterly calm after her sweet release, was when he was most vulnerable. To look into her eyes, glazed over in the aftermath of passion and know it was he who had caused such a reaction from her was what truly caused the shudder that coursed now through his body.

There was nothing he could have done to stop himself from losing his control now, nor did he wish to as he paused, enveloped by Elodien as he stilled himself, and yet there was a tremor, a trembling, and a long drawn sigh. He was warm, and complete, and fulfilled, and at peace. Her hand came to his cheek, running across the damp surface, from there moving lazily down to his chest.

Reaching past the gauzy curtain that draped down the side of the canopy, Haldir pulled a cloth from the nightstand and began to clean what was necessary after reluctantly separating from Elodien. Sleep was quickly coming to his wife. "I suppose I should send word to Erestor that I shall be absent for the week, though a week would not be enough," he said softly, kissing her on the brow. "Promise me you will continue your language lessons with Legolas, and I shall extend my leave for a month."

Elodien nodded happily, and pulled Haldir into a close embrace. Smiling, Haldir whispered into her ear, "I could drink you dry, and yet still would I thirst for you." This had the desire effect, and he held her tight as she shivered. "Sleep well, my love, for I will still be thirsty come morning." Leaning back again, Elodien nodded and closed her eyes with a heavy sleepy sigh.


- - -

Translations:

(S) Baw.
No.

(S) Ú-chenion!
I don't understand!

(S) Tiriathon.
I will watch.

(S) Maer.
Good.

(S) Sedho a mibo nin.
Be quiet and kiss me.

(S) Le aníron.
I want you.

(S) Gerich nin.
You have me.

(Q) Merin sa quetuval essenya írë mapuvanyel.
I want you to call my name as I take you.

(Q) Ányë amapta, Haldir!
Then take me, Haldir!
Epilogue by Zhie
"I am so sorry," laughed the inn master, standing behind the bar. The room was nearly empty, with only a few elves still talking at the far end of the room.

Haldir shrugged and sat down on one of the stools. "Should have locked the door," he said simply, pulling over a tray that contained tidbits of food, not realizing until now that he wasn't tired, but hungry. There was little left but cheese and crumbs, but he wasn't quite particular at the moment.

"I tyur ná enwina ar saura," warned Legolas, and Haldir crinkled his nose at the tray, then pushed it back again. "Again, I apologize," said Legolas, sliding a mug of ale across the bar. "Shall I see if I can find something else for you?"

Haldir shook his head, gulping down half of his drink. He set the mug back down and said, "Thank you for teaching her how to speak Sindarin, I have not the time myself to do so."

Legolas waved it off. "You don't have to thank me for something like that," he replied, picking up his own glass of wine and sipping it. Lowering his voice, he leaned across the bar and asked, "So…did you…?"

Haldir raised a brow, waiting for Legolas to finish.

"Did you…get laid?" he asked. "I know I disturbed…something up there…" he admitted sheepishly.

"Legolas," he grinned, shaking his head before draining his mug, "I always get laid." He looked into his empty glass, and said softly, "But now, I thirst."

Legolas laughed and retrieved another mug of ale, but when he turned around again, Haldir was gone.
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