"Pick up your bow! A good guardian never drops his weapon!"

"I don't want to be a good guardian," pouted the elfling. "I want to talk to animals like Palentil does. I don't want to leave the city and sit on the border. It's cold on the border."

Haldir's face hardened and he grabbed the bow from the ground, handing it to his brother. "Rumil, it is a disrespectful act to leave your bow on the ground. Archers do not leave their weapons lying on the grass to be trampled."

"Don't care!" Rumil threw the small weapon to the ground, causing it to bounce and then be still in the grass. Next came his quiver of arrows, smaller than those his brothers had. "I don't want to be an archer!"

"Rumil, if you don't pick that bow up right now, I'm going to tie it to your hand until you stop dropping it!" Haldir fumbled for the length of rope he kept looped on his belt. Rumil looked to Orophin with wide eyes. "Oro, get his weapon. I'm done explaining it with words."

Rumil didn't think twice, taking off over the hill to the path that led back to the inner city. Enraged, Haldir kicked the ground. "Orophin, go grab him!"

Orophin gathered the weapon and arrows and shook his head. "Why is it always my job to catch him?"

"Do not tempt me to tie your mouth shut," growled a frustrated Haldir. Orophin laughed at the image.

"Off I go," he said, unable to resist the urge to pat his older yet shorter brother on the top of the head before jogging after the youth.

- - -

Rumil never thought to look behind him as he ran, so he didn't know if one or both of his brothers gave chase, but he knew he was being followed. Up the steps of the Great Mallorn his feet carried him, and not far behind, he knew his tracker was closing in. He entered the closest room to the next landing, finding his sister within.

Celebrian took one look at Rumil, panting and dirty, and made to scoop him up into her arms. Rumil glanced once behind his back, gave a startled look, and ran to Celebrian, taking hold of the hem of her skirt, and pulling it over his head, effectively hiding himself for the moment.

Orophin appeared at the door a moment later, nearly out of breath. "Clebri! Have you seen Rumil?"

Celebrian shook her head. "Nay, I have not seen him since early this morning, when he left with you and Haldir."

"I could have sworn I saw him enter this passage." Orophin sighed as Celebrian shrugged. It was then that Orophin took a good look at his sister. "What's that under your dress?"

"Nothing," said Celebrian quickly as Orophin took a few steps forward. She could not back up without revealing Rumil, and so said, "It's Elrond."

"Echh! Blach, ichh!" Orophin stumbled back to the door, crinkling his nose and making noises akin to a gagging cat as he ran away.

Celebrian waited a bit longer before pulling her skirt back from Rumil. "Whatever are they trying to do to you?"

"Haldir wants to tie my bow to my hand because I keep dropping it. And he told me I won't get anything to eat or drink until I can fire my bow properly."

Celebrian clicked her tongue. "You poor thing. You'd better run and tell Nana or Ada."

Rumil nodded, heading for the back passage. When Rumil had gone, Celebrian let out a sigh of relief. A second sigh was heard from beneath the bed, and out from under the covers that reached the floor crawled Elrond, only partially revealing himself. "You have such a strange family, Ria."

Celebrian gave Elrond a sideways look. "You're the one who dove for the bed when you heard them approaching."

"Yes, but-" Elrond paused, listening. Shaking his head and cursing, he retreated once more, pulling the blankets back in place.

"Rumil." No greeting, no pleasantries. Haldir stood at the door, chest heaving, holding a short length of rope.

"Not here." Celebrian said simply, crossing her arms.

Haldir closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose. Opening his eyes slowly, he tilted his head upward, calling her bluff. Then his eyes widened, and traveled to the bed, draped heavily with thick blankets and furs - an unusual sight for summer. The table held a bowl of bite-sized fruits - berries, grapes, and the like, next to which was a pitcher of some deep colored wine.

Shaking his head and smirking, Haldir mouthed, 'Shame, shame, shame,' as he walked quietly to the bed. "Well, he'll likely wander along soon, he likes you best." Haldir sunk down onto the bed, purposely dropping all of his weight down at once so that the mattress would hopefully dip low.

Kicking off his boots, he proceeded to lift one leg and then the other onto the bed, each time making sure to cause as much of a disturbance as possible.

"Knock it off, Haldir! Are you trying to break something?" scolded Celebrian.

"Why? Is there something that could get broken?" he asked mischievously.

Celebrian pointed to the door. "Out."

Haldir conjured up a hurt look on his face. "Dearest sister, I do not wish you to be alone on such a fine day." He reached into the bowl and pulled out a small bunch of grapes. "Come, sit by me, let us talk for a while."

"With your weight alone, I am surprised it has not fallen to the floor."

"Oh, but it is sturdy. Quite sturdy." Holding onto the headboard with one hand, he lifted himself up slightly, dropping down once more. "But then, I suppose you knew that already…" Haldir grinned and bounced a few more times on the mattress.

"Enough!" Someone from beneath the bed gave a shove upwards, and had Haldir not been holding onto the headboard, he likely would have been thrown off.

Elrond crawled out from under the bed, and after straightening his clothing and hair, sat on the edge of the bed.

"Why, Lord Elrond, what a pleasant surprise!" Haldir winked at Celebrian and added, "Dearest sister, I do believe you have a tunnel to Imladris beneath your bed."

Celebrian pointed to the door more insistently. "Hurry, and you'll have the chance to catch Rumil before he reaches Nana and Ada."

"Oh, but it's been so long since I had a chance to speak to our dear Lord Elrond," grinned Haldir. He tossed a grape into the air and caught it in his mouth.

"Haldir…" warned Celebrian.

"Truly, I have missed him so. It is a rare surprise to have found him here. We do not spend nearly enough time conversing." Another grape was flipped into the air and caught.

"Haldir…" growled Celebrian.

"No, he can stay."

Celebrian's jaw dropped as her betrothed swung his legs onto the bed, settling next to Haldir, who had stopped snacking and was now eyeing Elrond warily as the peredhel moved closer.

"I think it would be immensely interesting to have your brother join us for a bit of…intercourse."

"By intercourse," asked Haldir, dropping what was left of the grapes into the bowl, "I am truly hoping you mean discussion."

Elrond grinned and gently put his hand on the young elf's knee. Haldir nearly fell from the bed as he scrambled off toward the doorway.

"What was that?" he nearly squeaked, cupping his hand to his ear as if hearing some far off voice. "Yes, I'm coming Orophin!"

"Pity you have to leave," called Elrond as Haldir retreated, pulling what was left of the grapes from the bowl.

"Duty calls," bowed Haldir before turning and taking his leave. Celebrian was on his heels as he left. Once in the hall, Haldir turned as he backed his way down the passage, sticking his tongue out at Celebrian, who was leaned out the doorway. Placing her hands on her hips, Celebrian not only stuck out her tongue, she also puffed out her cheeks, and Haldir crossed his eyes at her in retaliation, nearly backing into Galadriel as she came around the corner.

"Celebrian!" The voice made both siblings jump. "That is not a fitting expression for a lady of your age! However do you expect to take your place in Imladris if you can not keep silly expressions from your face?"

"But Nana, Haldir started it!" shouted Celebrian, well aware of how childish she sounded making such an outburst. Haldir cleanly wiped his smirk from his face as soon as he was in sight of his mother.

"My lady," he began with a low formal bow, "I was only showing concern for my dear sister. I heard such a ruckus, as if someone were floundering around upon her bed."

"I heard it as well," said Galadriel.

"Ah. Then you know why I had such a deep concern for her safety," continued Haldir. "She will not tell me what was making such noise, but I fear she may have been having a fitful and restless sleep, my lady. Ai, if only the Lord Elrond were here to comfort her," he finished, giving Celebrian a concerned look, and even going so far as to reach for her hand in a comforting manner. He was promptly slapped away with a glare.

"Haldir?" addressed the lady, heaving a great sigh.

"Yes, my lady?"

"I just had these passages cleaned. Kindly keep the bullshit out of my tree."

After a pause, Haldir bowed again, and repeated, "Yes, my lady," as he hurried down the hallway.

"He's lying, Nana," huffed Celebrian.

Galadriel nodded. "I didn't need the mirror to realize that. However, your Adar deals with the majority of the disobedience from your brothers. I am confident he will be justly disciplined. As for you, my daughter," Galadriel said, leading Celebrian into her room, "I have advice I wish to offer."

Celebrian glanced at the bed, noting that Elrond was not on it, but that the covers were pulled down messily to the floor. "Yes, of course Nana." She cringed inwardly as they approached the bed, sitting so that they were on the edge of the side that Haldir had rested on.

Galadriel appeared to ignore the fact that Haldir's boots were haphazardly tossed on the floor. "This is not the most discreet place to have visitors, Celebrian," began Galadriel. "Open doorways guarded only by curtains and windows that let in the breeze do not hide what happens within. This is not the ideal place for…casual intercourse," Galadriel finally said.

"Nana, I-" began Celebrian, blushing furiously.

Galadriel placed a hand on Celebrian's arm. "I know it is not long before you will marry, but until then, please consider finding an abandoned flet on the border or taking more vacations in Rivendell." Galadriel moved two fingers under Celebrian's chin to lift up her head. "Don't pout, that is unbecoming a lady as well. I am not scolding you, I am advising you. I would rather you hear this now from me instead of from your father the morning after one of your brothers comes to wake you and finds an unexpected guest."

Considering this, Celebrian nodded and received a pat on her cheek from Galadriel. "Now, my sweet one, draw the curtain at your door when I leave, toss sheets over the windows, and please let Elrond come out from under the bed before he suffers from heat stroke," suggested Galadriel as she stood up.
Celebrian struggled to find the words for a reply, but her mother bent down and kissed her on the cheek. "As with your brother, I do not always require a mirror to know what is going on." Reaching the door, Galadriel turned with a smirk, looking toward the bed. "And Elrond? That was my ankle you were just fondling."

- - -

"Did you find him?" asked Haldir, coming across Orophin, sitting on a bench outside the kitchen and eating a large cinnamon roll. Orophin shook his head and tore the sweet in half, offering some to Haldir.

The elder sat down with a sigh. "I looked everywhere," he complained, taking hold of the piece he was offered. "No one knew where he was. No one!"

"Well, he is very small," mused Orophin. "Just think of the places you could hide, and I'm sure we'll find him eventually." Orophin grinned, knowing he could manage an insult or two in exchange for the treat he'd given Haldir.

Haldir swallowed a bite, then said, "Did you know, Elrond is here. I was completely unaware of his arrival."

"Mmm, yes. Odd, how he fit beneath Clebri's dress so well."

Haldir paused mid-bite and slowly turned to look at his younger brother. "Under her skirt? He was under the bed."

"No, he was under her skirt. I know, she told me so." Orophin gave a shudder at the thought.

"Orophin, there's barely any room under an elleth's skirts, and not nearly enough for half an elf."

"So if half an elf wouldn't fit, I suppose a half-elf is entirely out of the question." Orophin smirked. "You certainly seem knowledgeable about the amount of room under an elleth's skirts."

Haldir blushed and shoved the rest of his snack in his mouth, looking off in the distance.

"I see…" Orophin licked the sugar and cinnamon from his fingers. "If he couldn't fit under her skirt, how do we know he is here at all?"

"Because I saw him under the bed." Haldir's look was thoughtful, and he rubbed his forehead. "Orophin, if Elrond wasn't under her skirt, who do you think was?"

"Probably Rumil," Orophin said with a shrug. Both brothers took one look at each other and took off for the stairs.

As they passed the landing just before the level that Celebrian lived on, voices could be heard from within the library.

"And then, they said I would not sleep until I was able to hold a sword as well as a bow," added Rumil. He was sitting on Celeborn's lap with his arms around his father's neck. Celeborn was holding his son and listening to each word intently with a serious look on his face. "And if I couldn't shoot any arrows, they were going to take me to the border and leave me there for the orcs so that I would have no choice but to learn." Haldir and Orophin took one look at each other after having glanced inside the room and decided to flee.

"How horrible for you, Rumil," concluded Celeborn. "Well, I see there is simply no alternative."

Rumil cuddled against Celeborn. "Are you going to scold them?"

"Aye, but as for you, I think it best you stay here with me from now on," said Celeborn. "Your brothers cause far too much trouble, and I would rather you were here with me where I know you will be safe."

Rumil shifted uneasily. "Can I still play with them sometimes?"

"Of course. Under my supervision," nodded Celeborn.

"What about bedtime? Will I still share a room with them?" Rumil asked, pulling his hands down into his lap.

"Oh, no, not at all," the Lord of Lorien said, shaking his head. "You'll have to stay in the room with your Nana and I, I do not think you would be safe otherwise. Your brothers are too dangerous for you to be left with alone. You will stay with me, and help me with things that happen here. It will not be long until your brothers move to the borders and you will be safe once more."

Rumil wrung his hands and bowed his head. Suddenly, he burst into tears. "They didn't do any of it, well, they did threaten to tie my hand to my bow, but I was really being very bad about it. I threw my weapon on the ground, but I don't want to kill anything, Ada, I want to draw animals. I don't want to be a guardian, but I don't want to be away from my brothers," he sobbed, clinging onto Celeborn now that the elf-lord hugged him tight.

"There, there, nothing to cry about," comforted Celeborn, rubbing Rumil's back. "I won't take you away from your brothers, but I do need to know exactly what they told you and not what you were worried they would tell you. That is why you told me those other things, aren't they, Rumil? Because you were worried that they might tell you those things?" Rumil nodded against Celeborn's chest. "Good. I would be very hurt right here if I ever found out any of my children would think to lie to me, especially about one of my other children," Celeborn said, touching a hand to his own chest over his heart. "Now, tell me exactly what happened, and do not leave anything out."

- - -

Elrond and Celebrian had just finished putting up the last of the coverings on the windows when the elf stamped his foot. Celebrian turned and looked at Elrond with some concern.

"Oh, I forgot to wash my hand," he said in an upset tone, holding up the one he had touched Haldir's knee with. Celebrian giggled and practically hopped into her lover's arms.

"You'll just have to keep that hand in a pocket, then," she said, taking hold of his wrist and guiding it into the deep pocket on the side of her skirt.

"You are wicked," he replied as he nipped at her bottom lip.

"As are you," she gasped as the hidden hand moved against her.

Light suddenly flooded the room, and the pair hastily made an attempt to separate themselves. Unfortunately, each moved in a different direction, Celebrian turning, while Elrond simply tried to pull away. Elrond landed on his knees, and Celebrian's rear hit the floor, putting them in an even more awkward position, as Elrond's hand was still caught.

"So, he is here!" said Orophin as Haldir pulled the curtain down over the door again. "Good to see you, Lord Elrond!"

As Elrond and Celebrian untangled themselves, the brothers made to help the pair up off of the floor. When everyone was standing once again, Celebrian glared from one brother to the other. "What is the meaning of constantly barging into my room?" she demanded. "Was it not clear when you saw the doors and windows blocked?"

Grinning, Haldir crossed his arms and said, "Needed a place to hide, and assumed we'd get a free show coming in here." He paused, looking at the spot where the pair had been sprawled on the floor. "And, we did."

"Go hide somewhere else, you rogue!" Celebrian said, giving Haldir a shove in the direction of the door.

Haldir frowned and looked slightly disappointed before smirking and heading to the bed. He pulled a strawberry from the bowl, holding it up to his lips. "Actually, I've reconsidered your offer, my lord. What's more," he said, flopping onto the bed as he bit the fruit, "I've brought a friend." He waved a hand in Orophin's direction.

"Haldir, if you've been making deals for sexual favors again without my permission," said Orophin, narrowing his eyes, "I'd just like to say…may we also invite that delightful red-headed guardian?" His eyes were lit up now, and all three other occupants of the room rolled theirs at him.

Elrond opened his mouth, determined to make a jest about Orophin's use of the word 'again', but the curtain was thrown back abruptly. Everyone in the room stopped what they had been doing immediately as the Lord of Lorien came into the room.

Celeborn looked around at the four occupants, giving Haldir a particularly nasty look and clearing his throat, then looking at an open space near the rest of the standing elves. Haldir swallowed hard and quickly made his way to the spot, standing straight as Celeborn relaxed slightly.

"I have but one question," said Celeborn, acting as if seeing Elrond standing in the room was a most natural thing. "I would like to know which of my children told my precious little baby that his hand was going to be tied to his bow, consequently causing him to cry and ruin my robes for dinner."

One by one, the other elves turned to look at Haldir who mumbled something in a quiet voice. Celeborn stepped up to him and said, "Louder, Initiate," in reference to Haldir being in training to become a warden.

"I told him that. Sir." Haldir bowed his head. "I am sorry."

"That you were caught," Celeborn finished for him. Haldir shuffled his feet slightly. "Draw your weapon," he instructed.

Haldir blinked. "I left my bow in my room," he began, but was cut off.

"Draw your weapon," instructed Celeborn, his patience wearing thin. Haldir lifted his sword from its scabbard, the heavy weapon cumbersome in his hands. "Guardians must be proficient with bow, knife, and sword, is that not correct, Initiate?"

Haldir nodded, noting that the others had stepped further back into the room. From his waist, Celeborn unsheathed a long knife, curved, and half the length of Haldir's sword. "How well do you fight with your weapon?"

Haldir licked his lips and shook his head. "I do not know."

"Let us see. Prepare yourself." Celeborn lifted his knife, and Haldir his sword. It took the Lorien Lord less than a minute to disarm his son. Celeborn shoved his own weapon into its casing and walked to where Haldir's sword had hit the ground.

"Bring me that, Elrond," Celeborn said, pointing to the rope that had been left discarded on the bed. Elrond decided not to hesitate, and grabbed the rope quickly, taking it to Celeborn. "Take your sword, Initiate," said Celeborn, holding the weapon by the blade. Haldir did as he was instructed.

Seizing the rope from Elrond, Celeborn wrapped it around Haldir's hand and the hilt of the sword and knotted it, though the rope itself was not overly tight. "When you have learned how to keep your sword in your hand, you may ask me to untie this rope. Until then, I suggest you think of a clever way to continue your everyday activities," advised Celeborn. "A good guardian never drops his weapon."

Galadriel looked around the table after her husband had said a quick blessing. "Where is Haldir?" she wondered aloud as she selected a roll from the tray and passed it on to Orophin.

No one at the table said a word, everyone concentrating on the food being passed along. Galadriel redirected the question to her husband. "Do you know where Haldir is? He is hardly ever late for a meal."

Celeborn looked at each elf that looked at him, finally settling his gaze on his wife. "Not a clue," he answered, stabbing at his carrots.

Galadriel's brows rose a bit, but she said nothing as she picked up her utensils and began to cut Rumil's venison into small pieces. "I do hope he recalled he was to eat with us this evening and not at the borders." Again, no answer was received.

Several minutes later, Haldir entered, trying his best to conceal the sword that was tied to his right hand. He had little trouble sitting down, but didn't seem to know what to do with the sword once he was seated. Knowing there was no good way to put it onto the table, he twisted his wrist so that the sword was pointing to the floor and stabbed it into the wooden floor, causing a few of the elves around the table to jump in their chairs. He then proceeded, with some difficulty, to fill his plate and eat.

"Haldir," Galadriel finally said after watching her son suffer through half of the meal using his less dominant hand and messing up more of the table cloth than he had even when he was a youth, "I wonder, what are you doing with your sword at the table, and tied to your hand?"

"Well, I…oh, my, Lord Elrond is here!" Haldir pointed his fork in the peredhel's direction. "Whatever brings you to Lothlorien, my lord?"

"Haldir?"

"Yes, my lady?"

"The sword."

Haldir set his fork down, and unable to fold his hands before him, set his free elbow onto the table, and began to explain, "It is an ancient technique of the Galadhrim, to become fully accustomed to using a sword as if it were the extension of one's arm-"

"Haldir?"

"Yes, my lady?"

"I have had this room cleaned today as well."

Haldir sighed, looking up at his father, and then back to his mother. "I told Rumil I was going to tie his hand to his bow - and I'm sorry Rumil, but I was frustrated when you kept throwing your weapon down."

"I don't want to be an archer," spoke up Rumil.

"Yes, I know that now," said Haldir pointedly. Looking back at his mother, he said, "So, Adar tied my hand to my sword."

"No, Haldir," said Celeborn quietly. "Your Adar was very upset by your actions, but he did not do that. Your Lord was ashamed that one of his Initiates would act in such a manner, and he was the one who tied your hand to your sword. Before you teach a lesson, you should know the lesson yourself."

"Oh," managed Haldir. He looked at his plate, appetite lost. "May I then be excused?"

Celeborn gave a nod, and turned his attention to Elrond. "I was unaware that you would be arriving here, Lord Elrond. If I might ask, what is your reason for being here?"

Haldir, who had been halfway out the door, spun around and leaned in the doorway, awaiting Elrond's answer with a grin on his face.

"Well," began the elflord, picking up his goblet of wine, "I know that the entire family has been very cordial since the announcement of our engagement," he said, moving his other hand to take hold of Celebrian's, "but I wanted to be sure that the sentiment is sincere. Not that I would be upset if it were not, but I want everyone to be completely honest."

Lord Celeborn frowned. "As I have counseled you both before, it should not matter what anyone else thinks of your future marriage, all that matters is your thoughts and feelings for one another. However, if it worries you what the rest of the family thinks, I believe now would be the time for those here to speak their minds." He looked around the table, and even to Haldir, whom he expected to say something, but it was Rumil who spoke.

"Oh! Well, that explains why you hid under Clebri's bed - I'd hide under there, too, if I thought everyone didn't like me." The elfling did not stop as his father's fork dropped to his plate, nor when his mother covered her mouth with her napkin, despite the fact everyone knew she was covering her snicker. "Let me put it this way," continued Rumil. "If we were all little puppies, we'd be wagging our tails and leaking on the floor right now, we're just that happy for you both." Galadriel had to press her napkin directly against her lips, while the one silent member of the table, Glorfindel, nearly choked on his carrots at the comment.

"Not me!" interjected Orophin. "Wagging my tail, yes, but I'm not peeing on the floor for you."

"Orophin, language!" scolded Galadriel, sobering.

"Well, I'm not," he argued. "Maybe chew on a slipper for him or something, but I'm not wetting the floor."

"I think what my sons are trying to say," said Celeborn, "is that we are delighted that you will be part of the family. Now. Shall I ask the reason for your being under my unwed daughter's bed, or would you prefer to assist my eldest son in learning how to properly use his sword?"

Elrond was out of his chair and to the door almost instantly. "Come, let us get you out of this silly mess," he said, leaving the room.

"Thank you, my lord," answered Haldir as he followed after him. "Perhaps after we practice, we might partake in that bit of intercourse previously offered?"

Celeborn picked up his wine and sipped it, then turned to his wife. "By intercourse, they do mean conversation, do they not?"

"Perhaps, my lord," said Galadriel, wiping at the gravy that had somehow made its way onto Rumil's arm, "it is better not to ask questions."

"Perhaps, my lady," said Celeborn, pushing his plate away in anticipation of dessert, "we should further discuss this over a bit of intercourse later."

Though Celebrian and Orophin both looked down to their plates and blushed, Galadriel simply smiled, and replied, "Perhaps the discussion should not wait."

Both the lord and lady stood and walked casually from the room. Once in the hallway, however, their pace quickened, and those remaining in the dining room listened to the thumping of feet on the stairs until they reached the chamber directly above, three elves looking up at the ceiling while an elfling drank the rest of his juice.

"I'm done eating," announced Celebrian, pushing her chair from the table. Orophin nodded, following his sister out of the room.

Rumil looked across the table at Glorfindel, who was quite composed and beginning to eat the cherries he had taken from the fruit bowl. "When they say intercourse," said the elfling, "they do know that I know they are talking about copulating, don't they?"

"And that's because you have such an excellent language instructor," nodded Glorfindel. "Now, little one, what words shall we teach you tomorrow?"