With a delighted sigh and a stretch of his arms, Legolas settled languidly down onto the bed. “Sooo…” He turned to the companion on his right, nuzzling his neck. “How was that?” he purred.

“Mmm… good,” answered Orophin back.

“Good?” Legolas bit Orophin’s neck, causing him to yelp, and making the lady on the other side of him giggle and dance her fingers up Legolas’ arm. “I should punch you in the face for that—good? Great.. magnificent.. amazing..” he drawled over his own amorous abilities. “Shut your face, good,” he scolded, flipping Orophin onto his stomach. “Let us review,” he said, grabbing the oil that was close by on the tiny shelf above them. It was close quarters in the triangular sleeping space. They had taken the front berth of the ship, and there was a raised bed, a chamber pot tucked under the front portion, which was an arm’s length from the door they had forgotten to lock. Clothing was shoved down to the bottom point, where feet were continuously stroking each other between sessions of lovemaking. “Nimrodel, assistance? I think he needs a spanking for that comment!”

The lady readily scooted up to settle herself between Orophin’s legs, lowering her hand a few times to mark his posterior with her handprint. Orophin playfully attempted escape.

With all of the noise they were making, none of them heard the heavy footsteps approaching the cabin they were in. Nimrodel continued to giggle, shrieking as Orophin reached out to tickle in retaliation. “Oh! No, no, no,” warned Legolas, grabbing hold of the lace sash that had been tied around his waist when he had stepped aboard the ship earlier that evening. “So naughty,” he warned Orophin as he tied his arms behind his back with the lace. “Now you are in for it!”

The door was thrown open just as Legolas was plunging back into Orophin. Nimrodel turned her head, color draining as she shrieked in terror now and scrambled to grab for a tunic to cover herself. “Just what is this?” boomed Thranduil as he motioned for one of the soldiers with him to see to the unclothed woman edging into the corner. A blanket was produced, which Thranduil tossed at Nimrodel. “Out, now,” he growled at his son.

“And in, and out, and in, and out… thank you, father, I can handle this,” Legolas panted as his partner whimpered for multiple reasons.

Thranduil closed his eyes and shook his head before motioning for another soldier to assist him. The archer looked momentarily uncertain, but then gave a curt nod and climbed into the cabin.

“Oooo… a foursome,” remarked Legolas just before he was grasped by both shoulders and pulled away from his play. “Oh, I like that, too,” he purred just before the soldier yanked him out of the cabin, holding him at a distance by the arms.

Thranduil shook his head in complete embarrassment as some of the other cabin doors behind him began to open, curious passengers peeking out to see what was going on. “Taking a ship to Lothlorien, in the middle of the night, without telling anyone where you would be?”

“You would have insisted upon an escort. That would have ruined my fun.”

Thranduil took hold of another blanket that was handed to him and used it to drape it around his youngest son. “Fun? You call this fun? This is… I have no words, Legolas, no words! What would your mother think?” he demanded. “Thank the Valar she is not alive to see or hear of this!”

Legolas huffed as another soldier entered the cabin to extract Nimrodel and untie Orophin. “Write me,” he called out to them as they were shuffled past.

“No,” warned Thranduil, turning to address the Lorien Elves. “No correspondence. None. Never.” He waved his arm that they should be taken out of his sight while Legolas pouted. “Legolas, you are a prince!”

“Not really,” he argued. “You wanted me to become a priest,” he reminded his father. “I am not the crown prince, and I am not even the back-up to the back-up’s back-up. Four older brothers. Look where that got Curufin or Finrun or Aegnor.”

Thranduil furrowed his brow. “Finrun and Aegnor only had three older brothers apiece.”

“Well, there you go!” Legolas threw up his arms, causing the blanket to fall to the ground. The soldier behind him scrambled to pick it up while he noted, “See, I have four, not three, so I have even more of a disadvantage! So, what does it matter?”

“While you have some freedom is deciding your future, I am certainly not about to allow you to become a prostitute!” shouted Thranduil. He lifted up a corner of the blanket to wipe at the paint that Legolas had used to shade his eyelids and lips.

The ship was silent until Legolas flippantly remarked, “Technically, I paid them, so they are the prostitutes, not I.”

Thranduil took a deep breath in through his nose, letting it out as a growl. “Off. This. Ship. Now.”

As they walked down the corridor to the ladder to take them up, Legolas waved and blew kisses, sometimes even stopping to hug a fellow passenger or crewmember. “Get it all out now,” warned Thranduil. “You will not see the outside of the Mirkwood caves until you are cured of this radical behavior!”

-----

“Is there going to be an election of the president for the council? If there is, I think I should run,” suggested Legolas as he and his brother Saelbeth rode along the path that would take them into the valley of Rivendell. “In fact, I might just go in there and proclaim to be Thranduil’s son and on the basis of that, I should just get to be, hands down.”

“Legolas, if you so much as open your mouth, I will personally arrest you and toss you in the dungeon.”

“No problem,” answered Legolas as he examined his nails with a bored look. “Not like anything we lock up manages not to escape. It’s practically a prerequisite for us to set every prisoner free!”

“I am warning you, Legolas, if you fuck this up—“

“Oh! I wonder what sort of drugs they have available in Rivendell—“

“Turn it around,” announced Saelbeth to the soldiers who had been following some distance away to give the princes privacy. “Back to Mirkwood this moment!”

Legolas waved his arm. “Suspend that!” He sighed and gave Saelbeth a pleading look. “What if I promise to be good.”

“Just be.. normal.”

They rode a little while, and then Legolas grinned. “But you have to admit – wouldn’t that be radical?”

Saelbeth rolled his eyes. “Yes, all of that would be radical. All right? Now stop.”

Legolas sighed in exasperation. “Maybe I could just go mope in a corner and cut myself and—“

“Why not.. find someone who loves you? That would be the most radical thing to do,” stated Saelbeth.

“That is the most boring, usual, normal thing to do,” whined Legolas.

Saelbeth chuckled. “For you, I do assure you, it would be radical.”

“You make it sound so easy. Besides, I have not found a single person who does not know about the boat incident.”

“I am sure there has to be at least one person who has not heard, or would give you a chance.” As they passed through the gate, greeted with nods from the guards at either side, Saelbeth added, “The council is in three days. I expect you there on time, and without prior incident.”

“What about later incident?” asked Legolas, taking in the sights, appraisingly looking at all of the Elves he saw walking and riding in the courtyard. It was the first time since the incident on the ship that he had been allowed out of Rhovanion.

“No incidents,” Saelbeth warned. “Three days. Be good, little brother.”

-----

Four days later was the next time that they spoke.

“What the bloody fuck am I supposed to tell father? Are you trying to push him into an early grave? This was not the plan!” Saelbeth paced the balcony while Legolas calmly made notes while looking over a map.

“He wanted me to prove myself, right? Well, maybe I have a little trouble knowing what is wrong or right when it comes to love, but I know what is worth a fight,” Legolas said with conviction.

Saelbeth groaned and put his hands on the railing, looking down over the valley. “Just by coming and being… here, not going there, not.. ugh.”

Legolas pushed back his chair and walked to where Saelbeth was standing, putting an arm around his brother. “Maybe you and father and everyone else,” he said with an exaggerated wave of his arm, “is right. Maybe I do need to calm down, stop trying to bed everybody, and concentrate on one person I adore, and make a difference in—“

“Who is she?” demanded Saelbeth with narrowed eyes.

“—the world.. hmm?” Legolas poked his tongue at the inside of his cheek. “No, no, come on. I would not… go to throw down the evil government of evil power thing and be on a journey where I stop brushing my teeth for ninety weeks and—“

“Alright, what is his name?” tried Saelbeth.

Legolas tries to smirk slightly, but cleared his throat. “This is just silly. I have work to do,” he said, walking around to the desk again. “I should probably concentrate on this.”

Saelbeth stalked slowly around the edge of the balcony. “He is coming here, I suspect. That is why you are trying to get rid of me.”

“What? No….” Legolas pressed his lips together, glancing at the door nervously. “I just hate to see you waste your day.”

“Ah, he is coming here—so, what, did you sleep with him already? Or did you send him out to find a lady to join you?”

“Saelbeth, please!” Legolas sighed and pushed the map away. “I swear, Saelbeth, he is the only person anywhere who was not here for the boat incident, and if you tell him, I will die. I will just die, and it will be all your fault!”

Saelbeth crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, come now. That is exaggeration.”

“I swear to you, Saelbeth, if you—“ There was a knock on the door, and Legolas held his breath. ‘Please,’ he mouthed as his brother slowly walked to the door to open it.

“Prince Saelbeth, Prince Legolas.” The figure at the door bowed to them in turn. “If I am interrupting, I can return later.”

“Oh, no, not at all, Lord Glorfindel!” Legolas rushed to the door to open it wider, ushering Glorfindel in. “Please, have a seat—would you like something to drink?”

“No, thank you, I am fine.” Glorfindel looked faintly amused and charmed by the attentiveness that Legolas displayed. “Shall we continue with the geography lessons?” he suggested as he sat down. “Is your brother staying, Legolas?”

Legolas looked pleadingly at his brother. “I was actually just leaving,” said Saelbeth. “Dinner tonight?” he asked Legolas, but Glorfindel answered him.

“I already ordered dinner for Legolas and I, but I think I can ask for another place setting when they bring the trolley up.” Glorfindel looked over his shoulder to look at Saelbeth.

“Ah… no. Actually, I think I promised Lindir that I would converse with him this afternoon, and you know how he likes to talk. Have a nice evening,” he said.

“Thank you. I suspect we shall,” said Legolas, making a discrete shooing motion with his hand.

“That is to say the least,” chuckled Saelbeth to himself after he had closed the door.