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"We are going to need three carriages total," explained Rumil to Elrond. "That is the minimum we can travel in." He drew four boxes and segmented each into four parts by drawing a cross in each of them. "Your sons will never travel alone, so they are going to end up in the same carriage." Rumil wrote Elladan's name in one of the smaller boxes with Elrohir's in the next spot.

"Of course, we shall be in the same coach, with your mother, and Orophin." Elrond waited while Rumil filled in all of the boxes for the next carriage. "We could place Celebdreth into the first coach, along with Haldir."

"Not a chance," Rumil said, shaking his head. "That leaves my father with the rest of the ladies, and I am not about to subject Nenniach to his foul jokes the entire ride."

"Valarda and Celebrian would be with her," Elrond reminded him.

"Valarda and Celebrian are worse than he!" exclaimed Rumil. "At least he only retells the jokes. The two of them make up their own."

Elrond thought on this. "Quite true," he finally answered. "Well, we could put Nenniach and Valarda into the coach with the twins, and Haldir would be stuck with the three Celebs…"

Rumil grinned. "That would surely annoy him."

"Wait." Elrond placed his hand over Rumil's before the names could be written. "We can use this to our advantage twice. Let us place your father and Celebdreth into the carriage with the twins."

Rumil's smile grew wicked. "Excellent. Now," continued Rumil, filling in the spaces, "we need only figure a way to get everyone to the predetermined spots during our journey to Thranduil's."

"Leave that part to myself, and our trusty well-bred minions," joked Elrond.

- - -

"Allow me to assist you, Gra'nana." Celebdreth pulled the door to the coach open and held a hand out for Galadriel.

Galadriel smiled softly and took his hand, using him to gain extra balance as she maneuvered into the carriage. ‘Five month.' She thought to herself, trying to find a comfortable position. ‘Everything downhill from here.' She truly was enjoying every moment of this pregnancy, perhaps more so than she had with Celebrian because she didn't have the fear in the back of her mind that she had the first time she was with child. The seemingly constant travel was beginning to make her weary, however, and she glanced out the window to see where Celeborn had gone to. "Celebdreth, do you see your grandfather anywhere?"

Celebdreth waved in the direction of another carriage, drawn by two black horses, as were the rest. "Elladan asked if he would ride in the carriage with us."

"I see." Galadriel frowned, wondering if it was the intention of Elrond to ride with his brothers-in-law while the ladies shared a coach, leaving the last for the grandchildren and her husband. She saw this was not the case when Elrohir helped his mother and aunts into the last of the coaches.

Celebdreth looked around the horses in alarm. "My pardon, but I must see if everything is in order with the other coaches. Safe journey, to you, Gra'nana." Celebdreth slid the bolt on the side of the door and then ran to the carriage he would be in, moments before Haldir strode up to it.

Galadriel watched the exchange with amusement as Celebdreth shook his head repeatedly to Haldir, whose arms were pointing and waving about. The door on the other side of her own carriage opened. She watched as Rumil and Elrond practically shoved Orophin in before climbing aboard. "Everyone ready, then?" asked Elrond hurriedly as he shut the door tight and reached over the window to fasten the lock. He leaned out a bit further, giving instruction to the horses.

Outside, Haldir turned to see the first carriage in motion. Celebdreth did not waste this opportunity, and he climbed aboard his own coach, waving to Haldir as he slammed the door. This caused the horses to lurch and follow off after the first carriage.

"They wouldn't have dared... " Haldir said to himself darkly, but he knew in fact, they, whomever they were, had. There was only one coach left, and he approached it cautiously, the scent of lilac and jasmine wafting through the air from it. His eyes closed as he approached and he listened to the giggling and whispering from within.

There were two ways to approach the situation, as Haldir saw it. The first was to climb onto the coach, shut the door, and remain perfectly silent for the next eleven hours as the horses took them to their destination. On the other hand, he suspected this was not a random occurrence, but part of a devious plan likely constructed by Orophin or Rumil or Elrond, or some combination of the three. Brothers always tended to make the day interesting. His other option, therefore, was to be charming and witty and pretend that he was not bothered in the least at being stuck in a carriage for the better part of the day with the ladies. Which, he most definitely was.

"Are you coming aboard, or would you care to walk to the gathering?" Haldir opened his eyes to see that Celebrian was hanging out the window watching him. Nenniach and Valarda were peering over her shoulders, also with their eyes on him.

"It is such a lovely day, perhaps... " He stopped when Celebrian shouted to the horses and they began to trot forward. Haldir leaped for the carriage, but it was out of his range by then with three laughing ellyth pointing at him from the window, hands covering their mouths in mock modesty. Haldir made another unsuccessful lunge, this time for the bridle of the nearest steed, but his attempt was only half-hearted, knowing they would not think to leave him here.

Haldir watched as the horses slowly circled away and then back again. Valarda reached over the window to unlock the other door and pushed it open. "Come on, Hirband Arabeleg, stop fooling around and come along!" She crouched down on the floor, shifting toward the stairs that extended along the side. Holding her hand to him as they came closer, Valarda waited until Haldir caught it and jumped onto the steps before pulling him up into the coach. The door was shut tightly, and the laughing diminished.

"Many thanks, my good lady," smiled Haldir, sitting down across from Valarda. Nenniach was next to him, his sister in the other seat. On the floor between these two was a sewing bag, practically bursting with small projects that had been started and would likely never be finished. Valarda picked up a book she had marked from a stack between herself and Celebrian and opened it again, nodding to Haldir.

"What is it you are going to busy yourself with during the trip, Haldir?" Nenniach was picking through the contents of the bag, pulling from it many glittering coils of colored thread. Celebrian was already busily stitching a pattern of gold upon a pile of burgundy that sat in her lap.

"I do not know," admitted Haldir. "I placed my bag in another carriage, thinking I would ride with the twins and Celebdreth. Sadly, I think it is up to the three of you to entertain me for the time being, until we take the break at noonday when I can retrieve it." Thranduil's residence was some ways from shore, and was in fact not his home, but the house of Oropher. When Greenwood's first king was released from the halls of waiting, it was his choice to be reborn in Valinor. It was here that he built a great palace with the intent of housing those from his forest realm who had fought and died with him. Many did reside there, including his son, Thranduil, when he had arrived in Valinor. It could accommodate many more, and would be the venue for both the family reunion Thranduil had planned, as well as the upcoming gathering of the royals of Arda. Because of the distance, a stop was planned halfway for rest and a meal before continuing to the final destination.

"Well, we can always teach you to sew if you become bored by conversation alone," offered Nenniach with a grin.

"Too late, my Nana has beat you to that," Haldir said. "Although I am not able to embroider very well, I can mend my socks and sew a decent pair of trousers."

"Impressive. For an ellon," Nenniach said, and indeed, she was impressed. "Perhaps Valarda has something you can do."

Valarda looked up from her reading. "Only if he wants to learn how to birth elflings. I'm currently on chapter eight of ‘A Guide to Midwifing'."

"I do not plan to midwife any time soon, but then, it is a topic I know very little about," Haldir said, forcing himself to sound calm.

Valarda didn't buy the act, narrowing her eyes. "There are diagrams, too." She flipped the book around, showing Haldir a very graphic sketch. Instead of recoiling, as she had expected him to, he looked genuinely interested in the picture he was shown. Valarda frowned and turned the book back just as Haldir reached for it, flipping to another part. "That one was nothing, really. Take a look at this." She shoved the book toward him again, holding it open to another of the diagrams.

Haldir peered at it with interest, and a little bit of worry, taking the book from Valarda's hands. "Poor Celebrian, is this truly what you had to contend with?"

"And I as well, let us not forget!" laughed Nenniach. "Though once was enough for me, I dare say."

Haldir shook his head. "No, not just having an elfling, which I did not doubt was uncomfortable-"

"Uncomfortable!" Nenniach crossed her arms in a huff. "It's downright painful at times! Not that I would trade it for arrow wounds and an axe in the back," she said, somewhat apologizing to Haldir, "but we spend a year in agony, compared to your single day on the battlefield."

Haldir decided not to begin a dispute on the topic, considering he was vastly outnumbered. Even with one of his former wardens in the group, he dared not test whether Valarda was more a soldier or more an elleth at the moment. Instead, he lifted the book, displaying it to Celebrian. "With twins, is it really that... crowded?"

"By the Valar, yes, it most definitely was!" she told him, and Haldir was surprised as she laughed about it. "Not only did they take up so much space, but they refused to let go of one another when they were supposed to be born! Did you know, that due to their stubborn nature, the only thing to this day they do not share is their day of birth?"

"I had no idea," said Haldir.

"Ai, it is true." Celebrian smiled at the memory. "Elrond did his best, but in the end, only time persuaded them. Elladan first, and Elrohir nearly right after, but by then, the moon was hailing midnight. Arwen, I am happy to say, was not only smaller than her brothers, but also came at the moment she was supposed to. Best of all, she came alone." The ladies laughed, and Haldir watched them with interest, and also delight, thinking that this was not normally the sort of talk he would have heard.

"Well, the elf appears to be enjoying himself, I must say." Valarda chose another book from her stack. "What about cooking, Haldir? Fancy learning a few hobbit recipes?"

"I'd rather read this first book you offered," he said, turning to the beginning of the book, "but I am not adverse to reading a cookbook."

"Halli likes to cook, although I have always suspected he did it so that he could be the taste tester," Celebrian informed them. "He used to help Nana all the time."

Nenniach looked up from her task in wonder. "He cooks, he sews, and I know he keeps tidy for I have seen his room. Why, Celebrian, I think we might be able to fetch a high price for this one."

"Ah, but the face," joked Celebrian in true sisterly fashion, "'tis one only a mother could love."

"What, this face?" Valarda reached forward, pinching Haldir's now reddening cheek. "True, only a mother might love it, but whose mother might? His own mother or the mother of his elflings?"

Haldir shook his head at the laughter, shifting to lean out the window and look at the scenery. He felt a hand upon his knee, and saw that Valarda was wearing a look of true apology. "I am sorry, Hirband, I did not mean for that to upset you."

"I am not upset," he replied, patting her hand until it slid away. "I merely had a brief thought of things that may have been is all."

Celebrian looked back down at her sewing. "Do not think of what might have been, but of what will be. There are plenty of ellyth in Valinor, my brother, and it is your luck that most do not yet know your reputation."

It was Haldir's turn to laugh now. "Oh, and I suppose you have great confidence that Orophin and Rumil have not yet begun to spread rumors about my ‘reputation', whatever it may be."

"Worry not about your brothers, but of your nephews. They are the ones out at night with the time to cause such mischief," warned Celebrian.

"What reputation is this that you speak of?" asked Nenniach as she threaded her needle. "We worried that he could not be trained, and yet it seems he already is. He is polite, growls only half the time, and is easy on the eyes." To this, Haldir once again turned red, but said nothing. "Not as pretty as my dear Rumil, I might add, but I do not see what could possibly be wrong with him."

Haldir ground his teeth, waiting to see if either Celebrian or Valarda were going to comment. When they didn't, he sighed in defeat, and said, "I talk in my sleep."

"You what?"

"Well, first, I sleep. That seems to put every elleth I have ever been with on edge. Imagine waking up next to the Captain of the Galadhrim only to see that his eyes are closed."

"If it is all the same to you," piped up Celebrian, "I would rather not imagine that."

"I have had a few of them scream or faint, thinking me to be dead," he continued, ignoring his sister's comment. "Second, if I do go so far as to sleep, I begin to speak-"

"Mumble," interrupted Valarda. "It's mumbling, not speaking."

"I begin to mumble," corrected Haldir, "and say silly things, none of which I remember-"

"Actually, there's very little coherency to it," Valarda said, interrupting once again. "Sometimes names, or places, sometimes strings of words that have nothing to do with one another. Different languages, too, elvish and westron, and sometimes dwarvish or orc tongue."

Valarda looked back to Haldir waiting for him to finish, but he sat now with his arms crossed to his chest. "Please, if you'd like to tell them about it.

"Well, I have heard it before. I am quite familiar with your night babbling. You, on the other hand, can only learn what you have said secondhand." Valarda glanced at Nenniach, whose brow was raised slightly. "I've heard it," she said pointedly, "because of sharing watch on the borders with him, not whatever it is that your imagination is telling you."

"I might believe you, except for the way he blushes so whenever you mention the topic." As if on cue, Haldir's cheeks glowed and the tips of his ears became red.

"I think he just does that no matter who is making such comments," guessed Valarda.

They paused for a bit, each concentrating on their selected tasks for a time. Nenniach finally turned to look at Haldir, and once she had his attention, said, "Rumil drools."

"What?" Haldir couldn't help but laugh at this sudden revelation.

"He drools, when he is sleeping. All over the pillow," she added, spreading her arm about. "I make him tie his hair back before bed, or it would be matted in the morning. So you see, dear Haldir, if you think your sleep talking is what has kept you from a wife all these years, it simply cannot be. All I can think of is that you just have not been introduced to the right ones. A situation easily remedied." Before Nenniach could begin playing matchmaker, Celebrian interjected with her own story.

"Elrond snores." Celebrian heaved a sigh, as if a great weight of many years had lifted from her. "I pinch his nose. I try to push him to his side. Sometimes, I even pull the sheet over his head, but nothing works. It is an endearing quality, though, in some way, reminding me of what part of him is, and of what he gave up. I do not think that choice was an easy one for him to make, nor would it be for any half-elf."

"What does Orophin do?" prodded Nenniach.

"Orophin... what doesn't he do?" snickered Valarda. She closed her book and thought. "Well, he does get a bit grabby sometimes."

"Sometimes? I have seen no other elf who is less discreet," scolded Nenniach. "I meant, what is his ‘flaw'. He must have some sort of oddity about him."

"Mmm... " Valarda thought on it a little longer. "No, I am sorry, all I am able to come up with is that he has grabby hands, and even that I do not consider a flaw. No, I am sorry, he is just a perfect elf."

"There is nothing? Nothing at all?" Celebrian could not believe Valarda's assessment.

"No. Nothing," Valarda said.

"Do not worry, there is still time for him to develop something." Celebrian bit the end of the thread and examined her work. "I wonder what sort of trouble they are getting themselves into at the moment."

"You do realize your husbands are riding with my mother, do you not?" Haldir informed them.

Valarda looked at Haldir curiously. "Why didn't you go with them? We would have been more than happy to accommodate Galadriel."

"Obviously, there is something afoot," deduced Nenniach. "Rumil has been very secretive as of late."

"Elrond as well," mused Celebrian. "Dear brother, I believe you are being plotted against."

"By my own family? Never," Haldir grinned.

"Well, now, this isn't right!" Nenniach threw her sewing into her lap and addressed the rest of the group. "I am rather upset that they are using us as part of their scheme."

Celebrian patted her arm. "It isn't as if much can be done about it."

Nenniach furrowed her brow, surveying the inside of the coach. "Oh, yes, there is!" she smirked conspiratorially. Into the sewing bag she dug, until she found a length of dark fabric. "Alright, ladies... and Haldir... it is time to see if our sewing skills are up to snuff. There is work to be done!"

- - -

Elrond stepped out of the coach, satisfied that he had two more accomplices, and likely a third. Although the blackmail approach had not worked on Galadriel, it had done wonders on Orophin. After they were on their way, Elrond had smugly produced a number of drawings and letters written in the second age for his brother-in-law's perusal. The pictures, obviously drawn by an elfling, depicted a red-haired elleth performing numerous housekeeping tasks. The accompanying text, read to the group by Elrond, was no doubt amusing. Whoever had written them had their mind set upon being a lady of the court with no less than a dozen elflings. Orophin nearly choked when he saw the signature.

"Valarda?! These are hers?" Orophin began to study the pictures in greater detail now, noting familiar trees from Lothlorien in the scenery. "You cannot be serious!"

For the sake of his wife, Orophin reluctantly joined the Order of the Elves Against Haldir. Knowing of Valarda's pride, rejection of most things feminine, and wrath if such pictures or letters were to become common knowledge, Orophin also promised to enlist his wife in the venture.

Rumil's plan to ensnare Galadriel did not work as anticipated. Each and every rumor was met with shrugs and yawns. "Rumil, my sweet one, there is not a thing I have done that could surprise anyone more than the horrific thing I did that all know of."

In a panicked final attempt, Rumil simply asked her to be a party to the plot against Haldir. Galadriel shook her head, but a glint in her eye told them there was still some hope. "I will do nothing to poor Haldir, for he will have enough to contend with worrying what the three of you will do. I will, however, make good on my promise to you, Elrond. The pink-feathered hat my husband made you wear was absolutely unacceptable, and I do intend to... explain that to him. If that…... explanation... happens to be in the form of whatever revenge you have planned for Haldir, then so be it."

Elrond frowned as the second carriage approached, for no sign was shown that the third coach was nearby. He walked up to Celeborn as the elf lord stepped down from the carriage. "Did you see if the last coach was having any problems?"

"None that I could tell." Celeborn shaded his eyes, looking to the East. "Let us set up, and by then, they should reach us, or I shall take a horse back and see what is keeping them."

A large blanket was spread out on the ground and was quickly laden a number of picnic items. As those already present made an attempt to find a comfortable spot against a tree or on the grass, the third carriage arrived, pulled lazily along by the black horses.

"It is about time," Elrond said under his breath. He cocked his head to one side, examining the carriage. "Did ours have curtains on it, Rumil?" he asked, louder now. Rumil shook his head, watching the coach warily.

The door opened slowly, and Celebrian took her time exiting. She was slightly flushed, hiding her face with a fan, which she waved furiously at herself. Elrond took a step forward, but Celebrian, taking note of his approach, rushed over to his side.

"Celebrian, are you well?" asked Elrond, placing a hand to her forehead. She seemed to be paling once again, but also looked a bit out of breath.

"Quite well, thank you," she said, wrapping her arm around Elrond's. "What is there for lunch?" Before her husband answered, the door of the coach creaked, and Nenniach slipped down the steps. Unlike Celebrian, she was utterly composed - with the exception of her hair, which was unusually loose and a bit... damp.

Rumil looked upon her suspiciously, but if Nenniach noticed it, she did not reply. "Have you found us a nice spot to eat?" she asked him. Rumil nodded, turning his attention back to the carriage.

Valarda was less discreet than her companions, clomping down the steps. Although her hair remained perfect, and she neither panted nor looked flushed, she was hastily retying her tunic and making a bit of a deal out of it. Orophin rolled his eyes in an apologetic manner of sorts, walking forward to retrieve his wife, when he noticed she was not wearing her own boots. Or her own tunic.

Orophin assessed her with one long look from head to toe. "Dare I ask what happened to your own clothing?"

"It is in there somewhere," she said, waving her hand toward the coach.

Orophin sighed. "Oh, come along. I am not going to be bothered with this prank now."

"Prank? What are you talking about?"

Orophin narrowed his eyes. "Just come along now, Valarda." Orophin reached forward to taker her hand, but stopped, noticing something behind her.

Valarda looked around her shoulder, seeing Haldir leaning casually in the doorway of the carriage. He no longer wore his tunic, or his boots, and appeared to be quite comfortable even though he was both barefooted and bare-chested. Raising one hand to her lips, Valarda blew him a kiss, and for once, the former captain didn't blush or look away. Instead, he smirked with satisfaction and started down the steps.

"Oh, lovely. Elleth, I swear, you're going to drive me mad yet." Orophin did take her hand now, determined to find a spot far from everyone else, but especially Haldir. At least now, he had something to get back at Haldir for, which put him somewhat at ease about going along with Elrond's plans.

Celeborn stepped next to Haldir, clearing his throat. Haldir paused, turning his head to regard his father. "That was indeed a joke, was it not? Something to amuse yourself with?"

"Please, Ada, I don't know what you are talking about."

"I am speaking of those three ladies who just left the carriage you shared and the state they were in."

"Ada," said Haldir, a shocked tone to his voice, "we were merely relaxing in the coach, for it is a warm day, and a long ride."

Celeborn shook his head, placing a hand on Haldir's shoulder. "I will then assume it was indeed a joke, and congratulate you, for the look on the faces of your brothers and Elrond was priceless. And if it was not a joke," Celeborn dropped his voice lower, "then I still congratulate you!"

Haldir chuckled and joined his parents beneath a tree for lunch.

- - -

As the blankets were being refolded and placed into the baggage hold of the nearest coach, Celeborn retrieved Galadriel's travel bag from the carriage she had been in. "Celebrian has asked your mother to travel with her for the remainder of the trip," he explained, placing the bag into the remodeled coach.

"I suppose that will mean Haldir is to come with us now," Rumil whispered to Elrond.

"Good. I plan to have a discussion with him about proper carriage-riding procedures and the value of not even pretending to lay a hand on another elf's wife." Elrond had been civil through lunch, but it was obvious the episode that had occurred had somewhat upset him. "Especially in the cases when that elleth is not only someone else's wife, but also your sister."

"Where is he then?" asked Rumil, noting that everyone else appeared to be in their coaches now. "Orophin," Rumil called, sticking his head into their carriage, "have you seen Haldir about?"

"Last I saw him, he was over by his coach," Orophin said, pointing.

Elrond shook his head. "That can't be. Galadriel is riding in it now, there is no room." The trio exchanged glances and then sprinted over to the ladies' carriage. Elrond rapped on the wooden door, and a hand drew back the newly placed curtain slightly.

"Is it time already to commence?" Haldir was quite serious as he asked his question, but behind him, giggling rose up from the others inside. He still had nothing covering his upper body, and at some point back to the carriage had ended up with a rose tucked behind his ear. Placing his folded arms on the window sill, he rested his head upon them. "The horses are ready as soon as you like, and the ladies are even more so."

"Haldir, this is no longer amusing." Elrond's arms were crossed, and his brow was raised in a most intimidating manner despite the laughter coming from the coach.

"What is no longer amusing, Lord Elrond?" The giggling became louder.

"Do not make me spell it out, Haldir. There are ellyth present."

Haldir suddenly appeared shocked. "Lord Elrond! I still do not know what it is you insist is going on, but I am quite taken aback to think you believe it is happening in here."

"Haldir, this is becoming ridiculous," said Rumil. "The thoughts I had throughout lunch were bad enough, considering my wife was there with you, but now you have Nana in there, too, and that just isn't right."

The curtain was drawn back a bit from the other side of the same door, and Galadriel smiled out at them. "Worry not, Rumil. I have come only to watch." The carriage lurched forward, causing the three elves next to it to back away, all of them groaning to some extent. Haldir leaned out of the window when they were a few yards off, waving dramatically and blowing kisses before he slipped back inside.
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