"Day number twenty-one thousand seven hundred and forty-seven. Bored of Valinor now. Think I might have to finally begin some mischief to make things interesting." Rumil dipped his quill into the ink and poised it over the paper before writing once more, saying the words as he wrote them. "Wonder if I could start my own elven realm within Valinor. Would call it-" Rumil paused, then grinned, "-Land of Rumil."
Haldir shook his head, pointing his spoon at his youngest brother. "It is a very good thing the Valar know you are jesting."
Rumil pouted, still writing. "Would set up a large palace for myself and select family members. Haldir will be confined to small shanty in the back near the latrines."
Haldir gave Rumil a look of great displeasure, but said nothing.
"What about me?" Orophin asked, peeling an orange. "Where do I get to stay?"
"In the palace."
"Ha! Hear that?" Orophin said, waving a chunk of orange peel at Haldir. "I get to live in the palace."
Shrugging, Haldir stirred his bowl of oatmeal. "I hear the palace is infested with rats."
"Is not," argued Rumil. "'Tis a lovely place. Warm and cozy, with furs on the floor of every room and a grand fireplace in the middle of the great hall. Tapestries of the heroic deeds of the Galadhrim upon the walls, and a good number of hunting dogs and cats living there, too."
"Hunting cats?" questioned Haldir.
"No, the dogs are for hunting, the cats are just cats. But it does not matter, for you are not allowed inside."
"Why is he not?" This was asked slowly by Elodien, who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. The conversation immediately switched from Sindarin to Westron so that Elodien could better follow what was being said.
Haldir made to stand and pull a chair out for her, but Rumil, still sitting, dragged the chair next to him away from the table and motioned to it. "Because I say so. Because it is my palace."
"Your palace?" Elodien sat down next to Rumil, which happened to be the seat across from Haldir.
"Rumil is having delusions of grandeur," explained Haldir.
"You're just upset that you have to sleep in the shanty."
"Don't make me overthrow your kingdom, Rumil," threatened Haldir.
Rumil smiled wickedly. "It isn't a kingdom, it's a dictatorship."
"Can I be the dictator?" asked Orophin.
"No!" Rumil dipped his quill into the ink and scribbled on the page. "Keep an eye on Orophin. Possibly make him stay in the shanty, too."
"Well, that does it." Orophin separated his orange into individual slices on his plate. "Let me know when you plan to invade the Land of Rumil, dear Haldir, and I shall fight at your side."
Elodien laughed and pulled a banana from the bunch in the middle of the table. "This is all a game, then, I assume."
"Game!" Rumil stabbed his quill into the ink and began to write once more. "Elodien also not to be allowed into the palace. Does not take the Land of Rumil seriously."
Elodien glanced up at Haldir and then at Orophin, who both shook their heads. She began to peal her fruit after slipping a sideways look at Rumil. "Where do you intend to set up 'Land of Rumil'?"
"Oh, I don't know." Rumil tapped the side feather thoughtfully against the side of his cheek. "Perhaps in the woods near the King's Kastle?" Haldir choked on his oatmeal as Rumil continued to explain. "There's a lot of land just lying about over there."
"It's a forest!" exclaimed Haldir.
"So I shall borrow Gimli's axe," nodded Rumil, making a note of it.
"No, no axes. No cutting trees, no Land of Rumil, no- is something wrong?" Haldir's attention was drawn away from his conversation with Rumil as he noticed Elodien moving her chair away from the table to stand.
Smiling weakly, Elodien shook her head. "I just- it seems the discussion has me at a loss. I am going to the nursery to see if the little ones have awoken."
"We can speak of something else," offered Haldir, but Elodien shook her head.
"I expect I shall see you all this evening at dinner. Until then." Elodien took her leave, and Haldir focused a glare into his breakfast bowl as he went back to eating.
"Oh-oh. Someone's upset."
"Leave me alone, Rumil," growled Haldir.
"Fine. I'll let you have an indoor toilet in your shanty."
"I said, leave me be!" Haldir startled even himself with the force of his command, and the room fell silent.
Orophin tentatively raised his hand. "Can... can I still speak?" Haldir grumbled something too low for Orophin to make out. "Is that a yes, then?" Orophin soon found a towel was thrown over his head. "Apparently, not."
"What's the matter with you?" Rumil picked up his dishes and took them to the washbasin. "Every time Elodien comes around, you act so very strange. Growling at us, snapping out orders, demanding we be civil, it's truly a wonder we have any fun now..."
Orophin stopped listening to Rumil and pulled the towel off of his head to reveal a look of wonder and a rather large pair of eyes. Rumil continued to ramble on, but Orophin pointed at Haldir, thrust his thumb in the direction of the doorway, and jerked his brows straight up as far as they would go. Haldir's face turned a rather deep shade of pink.
"...just the other day, you became so defensive when all I did was ask if her father ever went back to that drowned rat look he was ever so fond of, and I really don't think it was necessary for you to kick me so hard in the shin. I was only curious..."
Orophin had been silently contemplating things, and finally nodded his approval. Resting his elbows on the top of the table, Orophin twisted the golden band on his finger for a few moments, raising one brow with a smirk on his face as he watched Haldir's reaction. Pink slowly darkened to red, and Orophin's smirk turned into a smile.
"...not to mention the fact that we once had breakfast together, all three of us, nearly every morning without interruption, and now, it is a rarity to eat a meal without her, not that I am against having company, but the morning meal was our time to spend together..."
Orophin settled his chin onto his hands, and silently sighed. Haldir bowed his own, suddenly extremely interested in his oatmeal.
"...I know she is Arwen's daughter, and of course, I think it is only right that we should take our grandniece under our wing, lest she be corrupt by whatever she would be told and taught by others of this house, but..."
"Ai! Our niece. She's our niece, Haldir!" Orophin clapped his hands over his mouth, watching as his brother slowly looked up, his face changing now from red to purple.
"You can't have me believe you only just made the connection now." Rumil shook his head at Orophin, but turned his attention to Haldir. "Halli, what's the matter? You aren't choking, are you?" Rumil scurried behind his eldest brother, intent on helping to dislodge anything that might be stuck with a good pat or two to his back, but Haldir stood, the color draining from his face slowly.
"No need. I am fine." Haldir left the room without another word, leaving his breakfast, and his brothers, in the kitchen.
Rumil looked to Orophin with panic and sadness. "Oh, no, Oro, I mentioned her name! I keep forgetting his is still in love with her... you do not think he will pine away because she did not come to Valinor, do you? I know he says he will not, but if I were he, I do not think I would tell the truth of it."
"If I tell you something, you have to keep it to yourself. It has to stay in this kitchen."
"A secret?" Rumil took up the spot Haldir had left. "Is it a secret, a good secret, or a really, really, really great secret?"
"It's a secret about our brother," said Orophin. "The kind you can't tell anyone else."
Rumil whimpered slightly. "You know I can't keep that kind of secret."
"Neither can I," shrugged Orophin. "Ah, well, he won't be able to keep it a secret for long, knowing him. Here are the facts, slightly exaggerated to make for better gossip."
"Only slightly?"
"Moderately, then. Haldir is quite smitten with someone who recently came from across the sea to live with us in Valinor." Orophin was grinning from ear to ear.
"If you tell me it is Glorfindel or Erestor, I shall stamp your foot," replied Rumil, but he was smirking, and his eyes sparkled mischievously even as Orophin punched him in the shoulder.
"No, you misbegotten orc, your early morning interloper is the object of Haldir's affections. Well, I think he is unsure of the situation thus far, but when I put forth the question of whether or not he wanted to marry her, he was adamant that he would stop at nothing to make her his bride," Orophin said.
Raising a brow, Rumil asked, "What percentage of that statement was amplification?"
"Please, Rumil, I only overestimate in modest moderation."
"But think of the grandparents of the girl - that surely will cause complication."
"If Elrond even suspects anything, I fear moderation. Finding his only granddaughter in love with his brother-in-law could cause quite an aggravation."
"If you haven't already realized, our family already suffers from obvious marital deviation. Cousins with cousins and nieces with uncles could be cause for some migration."
"You mean migraines."
"Migrati... er, wait." Rumil paused. "Migrate is...moving, and migraines is headaches." Orophin nodded his approval, but Rumil shook his head. "No, that doesn't sound right. Are you sure it isn't the other way around?"
"Yes... er, no... wait, why are we still speaking this silly language?" Orophin sighed, picking up the conversation in his native tongue. "The point is, Haldir loves her, and there's no reason not to let them be together. If she wants him. Frankly, I think whoever ends up with him is going to be deserving of a medal or a very lovely song in their honor or something."
"What about mitigation?" questioned Rumil.
"No."
"Multiplication?"
"Stop that now, you're just being silly." Orophin drummed his fingers on the table, and then said in Westron, "If they ever decide to procreate, that would result in multiplication."
"Would it?" questioned Rumil. "One times one is still only one."
"Sure. It works. One Haldir, one Elodien, one... little...whatsitsface..." Orophin shook his head. "No, mustn't plan ahead. First the wedding, then the elflings."
"Elflings? But if one times one only equals one, that would only make elfling," corrected Rumil.
"But they can multiply multiple times. That's the beauty of multiplication!" Orophin stopped abruptly. "Wow. I never realized Westron could be so much fun."
Rumil pulled his notes from earlier over to where he was sitting now, flipping to the next empty page. He retrieved the quill, dipped it into the ink, and wrote onto the page:
Valinor not quite so boring. Haldir is apparently in love. Plan to make things difficult for him, just as he did for me. Have been waiting nearly three thousand years to do so, planning on enjoying myself now.
"Whatever did I do that was so horrible and what do you plan to do in return?" Both Rumil and Orophin jumped upon hearing Haldir's voice. Neither had heard nor seen him enter, and he was standing just far enough away from them not to be directly seen, but close enough to read the words scribbled onto the page. He strolled around the table now, pulling out an empty chair, which he flipped around with ease and sat upon, so that he could rest his arms and chin on the top of the chair's back.
"Nothing...much..." Rumil turned to a new page in the book. "You warned Erestor I was coming to speak with him about Nenniach."
"I warned him so that he would not have heart failure, not because I was trying to do something awful to you," said Haldir, obviously hurt.
"You also told Elrond," added Rumil.
"For the same reason. He was about to lose one of his best scribes and an advisor of his court. He needed time to prepare." Haldir took a deep breath and sighed. "You sent word you were coming. I was already in Imladris at the time. That allowed not only for Elrond and Erestor to begin looking for someone to replace her, but gave enough time for plans to be made so that you were able to have a proper ceremony in Rivendell."
"Hurray for me, I just realized I'm the only one of us who was married in Lothlorien, and that includes our sister." Orophin nodded his approval to himself. "Although, she was engaged in Lothlorien, that doesn't quite count. Not really." He realized suddenly he was being stared at and meekly slumped down in his chair. "Sorry about that. Sudden moment of personal happiness. I'll try to be quiet."
Doodling on the page before him, Rumil shrugged. "I don't see why I shouldn't do the same for you, brother. I wouldn't warn Erestor, no need to, of course, I think he had something to do with all this. It certainly sounds as if he was the one who persuaded her to come, and I've noticed through the years that he's a hopeless romantic and matchmaker."
"No, really?" asked Haldir rhetorically. "I can't believe that, I mean, he only had you tutored by Nenniach, sent her out to Lothlorien periodically to research in what little we called a library, and arranged for the two of you to have adjoining rooms for your stays in Imladris. I just don't know what you could possibly be- "
"Fine, Haldir, enough!" begged Orophin. "You as well, Rumil. Rumil," Orophin took hold of Rumil's shoulder, continuing, "Rumil, you are not going to tell Elrond."
"Why not?" huffed Rumil, shaking Orophin off of him.
"Simple. Elrond would kill Haldir. And there's a one kinslaying limit for this family, so the quota has already been reached."
"He wouldn't kill him-"
"Yes, he would!" Haldir hissed. "Not before a good long lecture, but he would kill me."
"Elrond wouldn't hurt a mouse," argued Rumil.
"I am no mouse," laughed Haldir. "I am the elf who is going to court and marry his granddaughter."
"No fair! I made up that rumor first!" pouted Orophin. Haldir regarded him with a strange look, causing Orophin to say, "Shutting up now. Again."
"You're certain of it, then?" asked Rumil. "No more agony over the loss of the Evenstar?"
Haldir lowered his gaze, thoughtful for some time. Finally, he answered, "I will admit, I still grieve for Arwen Undomiel, but there is a brighter star that shines upon me."
"Ick, he's getting poetic..." mumbled Orophin. Haldir picked up the towel from the table and plopped it back onto Orophin's head.
Nodding, Rumil scratched at the paper with his quill. "You can't expect me to keep this to myself, Halli."
"You don't have to. Tell Orophin all about it. Discuss all the details with me - that's two elves you can talk to."
Pouting, Rumil looked up and batted his eyes. "That's going to be awfully difficult for me."
"You're no elfling, Rumil. I'll lock you in the stables if you don't cooperate," warned Haldir.
"That isn't nice, Halli. Besides, I am sure you could bribe me to keep quiet." Rumil let his lip protrude further and even tried to get a little teary-eyed.
Haldir glanced to Orophin, who had pulled the cloth from his head, then back to Rumil. "What will your silence cost me, brother?"
"Not much. Not much at all." Rumil tapped the feathered part of his pen onto Haldir's nose as he spoke the next words. "I want a lavender rabbit."
Frowning, Haldir pushed the feather away. "You want my bunny?" he asked defensively.
"No, not your bunny. I want one of my own," explained Rumil. "Not like yours, either." Dipping his quill into the ink, Rumil began to draw on the already doodle-filled page. "Here," he replied after just a moment, tearing out the sheet and handing it to Haldir. "This is what I want."
Haldir took the page and looked it over with Orophin peering closer to see. "Haldir, that isn't a-" Haldir silenced Orophin with his hand.
"I will need a week or more for this. You are to say nothing until that time, and nothing after, agreed?" Haldir folded up the paper as Rumil nodded profusely. "Swear it, Rumil, I am not taking this lightly."
"I swear not to talk to anyone - except you and Orophin - about...anything that was discussed here this morning."
"And if you do..." prodded Haldir.
"And if I do...?"
"You forfeit an entire day to Orophin, and will have to do whatever it is he wishes, no matter how embarrassing it might be," replied Haldir.
"Why Orophin?" asked Rumil as Haldir stood up and walked to the door.
"Because," said Haldir, "as was already previously established, if you tell anyone, there is a better than average chance I will be dead. I want to be sure that someone as creative as I would be able to come up with a worthy punishment. It shouldn't matter, though, for you are not going to tell anyone anything."
"Fine. If I talk, Orophin gets to make me do whatever he wants. One day only," added Rumil.
"I don't suppose you have any requests, do you, Orophin?" asked Haldir before leaving the room.
"Oh, no, none at all," said Orophin. "I'm quite happy to stand innocently by and watch nature take its course!" he said cheerfully.
---
"This isn't a rabbit."
"I know," said Haldir.
"This is for Rumil?"
"Yes," said Haldir.
There was a pause while the twins looked at one another, and then they both asked, "Why?"
"He...I..." Haldir sat down on the end of Elladan's bed heavily, and the twins rushed over, one on each side.
"He knows something, and he's blackmailing you," guessed Elrohir.
"You are in love again," added Elladan.
Elrohir tilted his head, as if he was farspeaking to someone, and Haldir realized the twins were sharing their thoughts on the matter. "In love with our niece - there was a time when I could say you were in love with our sister." Haldir blushed, though Elrohir's words were not meant to cause him to do so, and each of the twins placed an arm around the elf's back to comfort and calm him.
"I think I like niece more than sister, though I never would have had issue with being your brother-in-law. Really, it's all relative when you think about it." Elladan was the first to laugh, merely appreciating his own pun, but Haldir and Elrohir soon joined him.
"Will you make this for him?" asked Haldir after their laughter abated.
Two heads nodded. "And we will tell no one," added one voice, though Haldir knew it was a promise from them both.
---
"Day number twenty-one thousand seven hundred and fifty-nine. Still bored of Valinor. Planning on starting a new sport involving sand, parchment, and monkeys. Think I might have trouble finding monkeys this far from-" Rumil stopped his writing and chattering as a package was dumped before him on the table. He looked up to find Haldir, arms crossed and wearing a triumphant expression. "What's this?"
"Go ahead and open it," insisted Haldir as he took a seat.
Rumil tore the paper quickly from the object he had been given and gasped. "Oh, Halli, he's perfect! Halli, Halli, I love him!" Rumil cuddled the soft toy. "Thank you, Halli."
"Thank Elladan and Elrohir when you see them next," said Haldir, pouring a glass of juice from the pitcher on the table. "Oh, and they know why they made it, so there are two more elves for you to speak with. Never let it be said I am not accommodating."
Not seeming to really hear, Rumil was squeezing his new toy as the sounds of someone walking down the hall while uttering comforting sweet talk drifted into the room. Haldir cleared his throat to get Rumil's attention and said, "I hope you do not mind, I asked someone to eat with us this morning. From the sounds of it, I believe she will also be bringing a guest." Haldir's assumption was confirmed when Elodien entered the room, carrying a small cooing bundle that was waving an open hand around in an attempt to catch her nose.
"Good morning, everyone. Orophin...Rumil...Haldir..." Elodien let her eyes linger on Haldir a little longer than upon the rest, and he smiled as he helped her settle into a seat at the table. "I planned to come alone, but this little one complained every time I put her back into the crib. Yes, you did," she said, addressing the bundle in softer tones. "Oh, yes, we peredhel have to stick together, don't we. Yes, we do. We sure do." This seemed to appease Vilya enough to stop waving her arm about, and Elodien let the little elfling latch onto a finger. "She's so darling. Can you imagine, this little one here is my aunt! How silly, really. Such wonderful silliness in this place."
"Wonderful silliness, indeed," agreed Orophin, flipping one of the ears of the stuffed toy Rumil was clutching.
Elodien looked up and laughed. "What is that you're holding, Rumil?"
"It's my lavender rabbit," he said proudly.
"Lavender, yes, but...rabbit?" Elodien looked from Orophin to Haldir and back to Rumil. "It looks like a dog."
"It's really a rabbit," said Rumil.
"If you say so. You have a very nice rabbit, then," Elodien told Rumil.
"Thank you," he said, and went back to cuddling it.
"Milk? Juice? Tea?" offered Haldir, catching Elodien's attention.
"Oh, I can get my own, thank you, if you can hold the baby," she said, and without giving him much of a choice, gently placed Vilya into Haldir's arms. "Huh."
"What?" questioned Haldir, looking up with concern.
"You did that...very naturally," said Elodien approvingly.
Haldir smiled and did his best not to blush. "I'd be some big brother if I'd have let my siblings fall on their heads," he answered.
"One times one," began Rumil.
"Equals one," finished Orophin, smiling behind his coffee at Haldir.
"What was that?" questioned Elodien from across the room.
"Nothing," mumbled Rumil from behind his rabbit. "Just basic math."
