"Now why isn't that one written down somewhere like the rest?" asked Glorfindel. Erestor shrugged and scratched his arm. "I suppose it is rather personal, but there is some important history to be found."
"What does it matter, really? All the rest are back in Valinor now, one way or another, and yet I remain. It is amusing, I suppose. I am the only one who never really wanted to come, still living on the mortal side of the sea," laughed Erestor.
Not knowing what to say, Glorfindel held Erestor tighter. They were on the couch, Glorfindel with his back against the cushions, and Erestor was upon his back as well, resting on Glorfindel's chest. It was a common thing on warm afternoons after lunch when there was no work and suppertime had yet to come, whether here in the study or outdoors in the gazebo. But now the sky was dark in the early morning hours, for Glorfindel had not said a word in all the time Erestor had told his story. "I'm a little confused," the blonde admitted. "When I see her again, I'm not sure if I should scold her for hurting you or hug her for letting you go." He nuzzled the sweet smelling dark mane that draped here and there. "I think I shall do both."
"No, she could not help it. It isn't her fault."
"Can I ask why you didn't tell me sooner? Not that I blame you, but-"
"Fin."
"Yes, Ress?"
Erestor smiled. "Exactly," he said, turning over so that he could snake his hands up over Glorfindel's shoulders. "When did you first think to call me that? You told me once that you'd given it a lot of thought."
"In Mandos. When I was waiting. Obviously." Glorfindel couldn't help but smile at the elf smiling at him, despite the memories that began to come back of the loneliness of the halls. "I thought a lot about you, and then at some point, a thought that I'm sure now wasn't mine entered my consciousness. It was so simple, and at the same time so complex, and I wanted to ask you about it. When I returned, you were so distant, so cold from what I remembered, I was afraid you'd roll your eyes at me."
"I probably would have," Erestor admitted.
"And then it just slipped out that first night. I don't regret it, though. I think it's a perfect name for you." Erestor's continued grin unnerved Glorfindel a bit. "What? What did I say? What did I do? Wait - I know that look…" Glorfindel waggled his brows and Erestor rolled his eyes.
"No, no, I know what you're grinning about," laughed Glorfindel, pulling Erestor back when the dark elf made to leave the couch. "I think it's a perfect name for you, even if your father was really the one who came up with it. But that can't be the only reason you waited to tell me this tale."
Swallowing hard, Erestor said, "No, I suppose it isn't. I suppose I was afraid to tell anyone. It hurt so much, and I cannot lie to you - it still hurts, though, each day it is less and less. A part of me still fears it might happen again." Erestor gripped Glorfindel's shoulders and lowered his head down onto his lover's chest. "I still don't know how I survived it the first time, but I know I would not survive such a thing again."
"You don't have to worry," assured Glorfindel, his arms protectively around Erestor. "You'll never have to tell me to stay," he said, "because I'm never going to leave you."
