Wrong Way
By Zhie

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Contact Email: zhiester@gmail.com

Beta: None

Rating: NC-17

Main Characters: Oropher, Galion, and lots of OFCs

Written For: Bird

Original Request: dirty nasty sordid love triangle with Galion and Oropher, where they play dirty to win the fair maid's affections...some humor is not opposed, chuckles. MUST be NC/17 OH!! and i want it to be first age...laughs...before they go to Greenwood. OH !! and I want them to all do it at the same time too...which should be interesting what with Oropher and Galion being at odds over the chick...

Word Count: 3,208

Summary: Oropher vs. Galion, in the world series of love.  Or something like that.

Authors note: I did my best, Birdiebird, I hope you enjoy it.  I don't know if she qualifies as a 'fair maiden' (or even a maiden...), and some humor ended up leading to extreme silliness in cases.  Oh well... poor you for pulling me in all of this!  LOL

PS -- Bird, I do NOT smell like poopy... just FYI...

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This tale is not what you would call your typical fairy tale romance. In fact, there is very little romance at all. However, the story is a good one and entertaining, so it may be worth your time to stay and listen to my words.

There is a great deal of nakedness and some thoroughly raunchy scenes that would make the professor shake his finger or roll his eyes as well. There, see? I knew there was a reason for you to stay!

It all started in Doriath, before it became a wasteland with ample available property, and no population – unless of course, you count the cave snakes and the spiders. Once, Doriath was a pillar of prosperity. Among the residents there were two young ellyn, ready to make their way in Arda.

One was a Doriath prince (though Doriath princes in those days were a mithril coin a dozen), who was heavily contemplating the possibility of leaving the caves and founding his own kingdom elsewhere (for Elven-kinds in those days were slightly less common than Elven-princes, yet a bit more respected and able to get away with more). His name was Oropher, and he was blond (yet saw no humor in jokes regarding his inability to tie his shoes), and cute, and all the maids made goo-goo eyes at him on a daily basis. Oropher would simply pretend not to notice as he preened and posed for her captive audience.

The other young ellyn was named Galion, and his specialty was wine, which accounted for his tendency to be drunk an awful lot. His favorites were white and red, with the occasional bottle of unknown vintage and origin thrown in. Despite his love of liquor, he had a passion for pretty little things as well, the prettier the better. Most of these pretty little things looked longingly upon Galion, whose dark hair and handsome face caused more than one to swoon and sigh.

Galion served in Doriath as a footman (despite the fact he had two feet and was not in any way related to the second born of Eru’s children), with aspirations of his own. Unlike Oropher, who wished nothing more than to be waited on hand and foot (and other hand and other foot), Galion was one who delighted in the serving of others, and hoped one day, should Thingol’s butler die, that he (would pretend to be sad for a while and then) would slide into the position.

Perhaps you have presently produced a perfect solution for this peculiar predicament, however, it would not be much of a story if they had simply run into one another and figured it out on their own. Plus, there would be considerably less nudity, and we cannot have that, now, can we?

Now, it just so happened that both Oropher and Galion shared the same off day. No, I have no idea why a prince would need a day off, but he had one, I am sure it was all negotiated with the prince’s union, local 690, well before he became a certified prince. On one of those off days, they both just chanced to be walking down separate paths which would lead to the same place – Ye Olde Swimming Pond for Chaste, Young Ellith.

Of course, neither would admit that they knew they were heading in the direction of Ye Olde Swimming Pond for Chaste, Young Ellith – they would both say they indeed thought they were heading down the path to Ye Olde Dwarven Retirement Cottage to play Ye Olde Bingo with the residents, as any respectful young ellin would do on his day off. You and I both know better, and so, back to our tale.

Oropher reached the pond first, or rather, a clump of bushes just to the East of said pond. He crouched down behind him, not wanting to disturb the young, nubile, deliciously delightful and appetizingly exposed group of ellith who were splashing in the water, the morning rays glinting off of their wet, glistening skin. They had with them a ball they had made of woven reeds, and they were tossing it to one another, their firm breasts and long, wavy hair bouncing slightly as they did so.

It happened just at that time that Galion came forth from the other path, and ducked down to keep himself concealed by the trunk of a tree. Oropher, at first taken aback by the fact he was now spotted, decided to turn the tables. “What are you doing here,” he hissed, pointing a finger accusingly at the footman.

“Me? I lost my way and here I am. Is this not the path to Ye Olde Dwarven Retirement Cottage?”

“No, indeed, it is not!”

“Ah, then a wrong turn I made.” Galion crossed his arms over his chest. “Just what is it that you are doing here, m’lord?”

“I... I happened to be taking the scenic path toward Ye Olde Dwarven Retirement Cottage.”

“Yes, I can see that,” said Galion, his eyes darting over to take in the view of the ellith, who had decided that now was a good time to held each other wash up. “Well, I suppose you shall be on your way, then.”

“I shall,” snapped Oropher. “But what of you?”

“Me? Oh, I seem to have a cramp in my leg. Most painful. I shall need to stay here until it relieves itself. Well, you had best go then, m’lord. No need to keep the dwarves a-waiting.”

Oropher fought to come up with a reason to stay, when suddenly he was doused with a bucket of cold water. Looking up at where the attack came from, he coughed and sputtered as another splash of water hit him from above.

Galion suffered the same fate moments later, and was drenched far better as their assailant did not pour the water straight down, but at an angle. Moments later, a young elleth dressed in pants and tunic scaled down the tree, shaking her head. “Honestly. What rubbish!”

“Beg your pardon, but was that necessary?!” demanded Oropher.

The elleth, whose name was Alatamellon, glanced first at Oropher’s subsiding erection, and then at Galion’s raging one. “Yes.”

“We were just on our way to Ye Olde Dwarven Retirement Cottage!” roared the prince. “Now just look at what you have done!”

“You want me to believe you were about to go play with Dwarves when there are a dozen young, gorgeous ladies frolicking in a pond and rubbing each other with sweet oils?” she asked, eyeing up both of them, for their clothing was now stuck to their bodies, and even for a prince and a footman, they had very nice figures.

“Yes!” they shouted at the same time.

Alatamellon took a step back, mostly so that she could get a view of them both at the same time. “Oh, I see. The two of you are...” She raised a brow, thinking perhaps she was in the wrong fic swap somehow.

“No!” they shouted again as she leered. “Most certainly not,” added Oropher.

“Well, whatever the reason,” announced Alatamellon, loud enough for the ellith in the pond to hear, “I think the two of you make a fine looking couple. My congratulations at your bravery, for really being true to yourselves and each other, and what you are.” She gave them a wink, which only they saw, whilst the maidens in the pond murmured and balked over the fact none of them had seen it before, and wasn’t it a shame, and oh, well, at least they would not feel exposed now if ever again one or the other were to walk by.

Galion’s mouth hung open in bewilderment, until the meaning completely hit him, and he blushed in anger and embarrassment. Oropher simply narrowed his eyes, and stomped off in the way he had come.

“Better go get him, sweetheart,” said Alatamellon, giving Galion a push in Oropher’s direction.

The young footman stumbled forward, and not knowing what else to do, fled up the path that Oropher was traveling.

“Go find your own way home,” said Oropher as the footman approached. “This is going to be bad enough as it is, we do not need to be seen together!”

“I intend to take the shortest route back, thank you very much, and find myself an elleth to bond with if necessary before these rumors spread into the city!”

Oropher nodded. “For once, you may have an idea.”

Galion glared at him, but said nothing.

“What I would like to do,” Oropher finally admitted after they sloshed by Ye Olde Dwarven Retirement Cottage on their way back to the caves, “is get my hands on that impudent little one who caught us. Who does she think she is, anyway?”

“Probably one of those Ellith Liberation nuts. She was wearing leggings, you know.”

Oropher was silent for a while, and finally said, “I think perhaps I will get my hands on that elleth. She was... decent looking.”

“Decent looking?” Galion snorted. “Decent looking, my eye. Did you see the size of her chest? You would nearly need to use both hands to hold onto one of them!”

“Shut your mouth,” scolded Oropher. “That could be my future wife you are talking about.”

“Your future wife? Hmmm...” Galion let his mind wander. “Not if someone else marries her first.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” demanded Oropher as they reached the city.

“Oh, nothing,” replied Galion, smirking as he left to find a warm fire and a change of clothes.

For the next several weeks, Oropher and Galion each began to court (read: stalk) Alatamellon, though, to no avail. Oropher brought roses, by the dozens, sneaking them into her rooms and strategically placing them everywhere he could. Petals would be scattered over his pillows and sheets, and buds would decorate the tabletops and shelves. Yet he would find them disposed of in the trash heap only hours later.

Galion fared no better. His gifts of baskets laden with rich pastries and sweets of every kind were placed with care by her doorstep before she awoke. Each day, to his dismay, he would watch them being carried to Ye Olde Swimming Pond for Chaste, Young Ellith by the group who frequented it.

It turned out that Alatamellon was something of a den mother to the young ellith she watched over. She took it upon herself to oversee the dozen or so beauties who had been orphaned by things like wolf attacks or the avada kedavra or something of that sort. She would watch them, hidden in the trees, during the days and evenings, which meant she was in her rooms very little of the time.

Both of her would-be suitors came to know her schedule, and it was perhaps a happy coincidence that they both ended up at her door at the same time one evening. “What do you want?” demanded Oropher, holding a bouquet of red roses.

“I want what’s behind door number one,” grinned Galion, a box of fine candies tucked under his arm. “Kindly step aside.”

Before the pair could get into an argument, the door opened, and Alatamellon peered out at them. “Just what do the two of you think you are doing?”

Oropher stepped forward, blocking Galion. “M’lady, I came to give you these. I saw them, and they reminded me of your own pure beauty.”

“Dead flowers. How nice. Get them away from me,” she demanded.

Blinking in shock, Oropher asked, “But why? I thought all ladies liked to get flowers.”

Taking a step back, Alatamellon sneezed. “I happen to be—choo! --allergic to flowers.”

Shoving Oropher aside, Galion gave Alatamellon a winning smile. “Here, m’lady. Perhaps this will cheer you up.” He held out the box of candy, and she frowned.

“Sure, great, thanks. A big box of chocolate. Do you know how unhealthy this stuff is? What do you want me to do, get fat?” She took the box and tossed it haphazardly aside onto a table in her rooms as the smile on Galion’s face fell. “Look, I know why the two of you keep doing these things, but please, stop.”

With a sigh, both Galion and Oropher hung their heads and began to leave.

“Where are you going?” Alatamellon demanded.

“You... you told us to go,” Oropher said.

“I told you I knew why you were doing what you have been doing, and to stop. I never said to leave.” Alatamellon went back into her rooms, leaving the door wide open.

Oropher and Galion looked at one another, and then scrambled into the room, slamming the door shut behind them. “Galion, I think you might have the wrong idea. Obviously, she wants me over you. I am, after all, a prince, where you... are not,” explained Oropher.

“Oh, no. I want him to stay,” said Alatamellon as she untied her leggings and slid them down her shapely legs so that she could step out of them. Her tunic top hung down low enough that it just covered her rear.

“Oh.” Galion ashamedly turned to leave.

“I want both of you to stay.” Alatamellon was slipping out of her panties (because all ellith in Doriath wore pretty panties, you know) as she said this, and flung them at Oropher, giggling when they hit his shoulder and stayed perched there until he plucked them off. “Who wants to have to choose, hmm? Besides, I cannot have flowers, and I cannot have candy, I might as well get an adequate amount of sexual favors.”

“Well, who can argue with that?” Galion closed the space between himself and Alatamellon. His hands rested on her hips only briefly before traveling down to grab her backside and give it a good squeeze while he sealed his lips over hers.

Oropher was not about to be left out of the equation, and after pulling his shirt off over his head, came around behind Alatamellon. He bent his head down to kiss her shoulders and neck while rubbing his growing erection against her rump. Grinding harder as he heard her moans, he reached around and rubbed a finger in the damp folds before Galion joined him in this task.

Alatamellon leaned back against Oropher as one hand rubbed all of the sensitive places that were exposed, and another began to dip into her core, preparing her for what was to come. She felt those fingers slide out and slip back, teasing her other opening.

Galion stepped away briefly to remove his clothing in haste before resuming his position in front. His hardened length twitched as it came in contact with her moist flesh, but he fought to contain himself until Oropher was undressed as well. Despite wanting her all to himself, Galion knew that sharing was better than having none at all, and so accepted it – for now, at least. He knelt down before Alatamellon, his powerful arms and hands wrapped around her legs and supporting her so that she did not crumple to the ground as he tormented her with his tongue between her thighs.

Not only did Oropher remove his leggings, but he took off Alatamellon’s top as well, exposing the wonderfully large breasts he had wished to see in the flesh. He came around to the front to admire them.

Alatamellon was standing before Galion, her legs shaking, her eyes closed, moaning in pleasure when an unexpected rush hit her. She opened her eyes to find Oropher standing to the side, his fingers readying to pinch her right nipple again. Wickedly he did so, then held his fingers together longer, and turned his wrist to twist the sensitive bud. This he did to the opposite side as well, before using one hand to reach the left and his mouth on the right, nipping now and again to cause Alatamellon to cry out in pleasure.

Galion looked up, not wanting to be left out of this addition to their encounter. He stood up again, holding onto Alatamellon’s hips as he slapped away Oropher’s hand and then bowed his head down so that each of her breasts was being worshipped by one of the ellin.

Building desire in Oropher’s loins led him behind Alatamellon once again, where he resumed preparing her tight puckered opening. As he positioned himself, he heard Galion tell him to wait, and he did so grudgingly as the other ellon slicked his member with Alatamellon’s own lubrication. “Ready?” asked Oropher, more to Galion than Alatamellon, and the footman nodded.

Both of their erect members pierced Alatamellon simultaneously, filling her completely. She braced herself, legs spread, arms around Galion’s neck, as the pair thrust into her hard and fast. Kisses were traded between her and Oropher while Galion suckled her nipples and nipped at her throat. They came one after another, in such quick succession that it hardly mattered the order, and tossed a towel over the mess on the floor, vowing to clean it up in the morning.

“That is not going to work,” whispered Galion. “You must stay here now.”

“Why are you arguing? If she does not want to go, I would think you would be happy to have her to yourself.”

The pair was arguing again, this time in bed, with Alatamellon between them. Oropher had revealed his plans to leave Doriath to Galion, who disagreed with the entire idea.

“If you go, and she does not go with you – well, how fair is that to her?”

“I had planned on this long before I ever knew her,” Oropher hissed back, not really wanting to leave Alatamellon, but not planning to force her to leave with him against her will.

Before the argument could come to blows, Alatamellon said in a tired voice, having just been awoken, “Galion, if you come along, you would be able to obtain a butler position immediately. Head of the household, most likely. Oropher, you just hire him now before even getting there, then he knows he has job security.”

“That sounds all fine and well,” replied Oropher, “but what about you?”

“Me? Oh, well, as long as we get to do what we did tonight at least once a week, I have no problem following the two of you anywhere,” she said, snuggling herself down between them again. “However, I will have to bring the chaste young ellith along, that is, if neither of you mind.”

“Mind? What is there to mind?” questioned Galion.

Oropher thought it over for a moment. “Do they still think the two of us are... you know...?”

Alatamellon shrugged. “I certainly hope so... that way, I shall have no worries that one of them might try to steal one or both of you away from me...”

The End... Well, more or less. Obviously, you must assume the pair left Doriath, founded Greenwood, had and raised Thranduil (and perhaps other equally confused offspring) and had a rather lovely time of it until the Last Alliance, after which Alatamellon and Galion drank a lot (more than usual) until sailing to the West to be reunited with Oropher, so that they could once again have lots and lots of sex and live happily forever after. Merry Christmas!