"Hoom ha-room," came the deep voice of the ent as he bent down to inspect the three wide-eyed ladies sitting at the table. "Long have I awaited the entwives to return, but I do believe that my wait is over. Hoom-ha-ra-ha-room, one of you will make a fine bride."
"One of us?" gulped Laura. Mei and Zhie just gulped.
Standing up straight, the ent gave a slight tilt of his head to where Celeborn and Galadriel sat. "It was promised to me that you would find a bride for me, and if not, I could choose any in your forest, ha-roooom."
"Sadly, 'tis the promise we made, and an elf never breaks their promise," announced Lady Galadriel, though she did not look all too sad about it as she took in the crestfallen look her husband had as Fangorn, known otherwise as Treebeard, batted his eyes at Zhie.
"I will allow the three of you to decide among yourselves," offered Treebeard. The three ladies leaned in to the center in a huddle.
"What do you think, girls?" asked Laura.
"I say we run for it. He can't stomp us all at once!" reasoned Zhie.
Mei shook her head. "We need to keep our wits." She made a fist and presented it to the other two. "Scissors, paper, rock. Best four out of seven," she grinned at Zhie.
"I'm never letting you read another thing I write again. And I'll know if the two of you are cheating," she warned.
"How's that?" asked Laura.
"Because I'm the one writing this part," Zhie explained, adding her hand to the middle. On the count of three, they each presented their choice - Zhie and Mei paper, rock for Laura.
"Just wait until I get to writing the wedding scene," mumbled Laura as she stood up, wagging her finger at Zhie. "I'm going to make you Silver Moonbeam Sparkle or something."
"You wouldn't dare," hissed Zhie back as Laura approached Treebeard. "If you put me in something girly and fluffy-" added the minstrel, but she was drown out by some hooming and ha-rooming and a cough from Laura to clear her throat.
"Mr. Treebeard," began Laura with a curtsey, "though I would be honored to marry such a strong and solid creature as yourself, I must decline, for I have found love at last! Not in the arms of an ancient and honorable ent, as well you are, but in the arms of an ancient elf reborn, and really, he needs all the help he can get. SOME people keep writing him as being very G-A-Y, and I don't mean happy," she whispered to him.
At the table, Zhie scowled and mumbled to Mei, "He STARTED that way in this fic!"
Striding up in a very rough and rugged manner, Glorfindel swept Laura into his arms. "It warms my heart to hear such words from you, dearest lady. Alas, until you came into the woods only three days ago, I had never been kissed by any but... well, enough of that. What matters is that you have shown me that, indeed, there is one with such beauty as I, and it is you. What is more, I love you," he said, and kissed her passionately.
Across the table, Mei glared at a grinning, shrugging Zhie. "What? She can conjure up fire - can you imagine what that would do to my tambourine? Not to mention, my naturally curly shiny hair?"
"You can win this round, but I still have freewill," warned Mei.
"I know, I know," Zhie said nervously, spying a smug looking Lady Galadriel beside Lord Celeborn, who looked on helplessly. "Just buy me some time. Please!"
Mei sighed. "I'll do what I can," she said, getting up and pushing Glorfindel and Laura, still entwined, off to the side.
"Yo, Treebeard!" called Mei from the ground.
"Hoom, you're a pretty one," said the ent.
Mei blinked. "I've already slept with half the wardens in the forest. But tell me where you set up your gift registry, I'll buy you and the, uh, little lady something nice. Ta." Mei scurried around Zhie's chair and into Dinendal's arms. "Strike two, dear, you're up."
Shakily, Zhie got to her feet. It wasn't ent prejudice, and pride had little to do with her nervousness. Once again, she snuck a look over her shoulder at the Elf Lord who sat on the edge of his seat, his heart breaking with every step she took. Zhie looked up at the branches that swayed above, but as she opened her mouth to speak, it was not her voice that was heard.
"Wait!" shouted an elf near the back of the gathering. Climbing up the rope ladder a few steps so that he could be seen easily by the others there, Erestor called out again. "I cannot allow this to happen!" he shouted. "There are too many lies, and lessons which must be learned."
"Erestor, no!" Everyone turned to see Lady Galadriel standing. Uneasily she shifted and said, "Erestor, you've had too much wine. Come down from there!"
"Nay, I shall not, until the truth be known, my lady. Or," he said, his voice clearly heard by all, "should I say, my wife?"
"Wife?" Lord Celeborn turned abruptly. "Galadriel, what blasphemy is this?"
It was Erestor who answered, jumping down from his perch and walking through the crowd. As he did, he took from the pocket of his vest a folded, yellowed sheet of parchment. "You, m'Lord, have been deceived. For the elleth you married was already, in Valinor, to me. She slayed kin, and for that, I requested a divorce. She would not give one to me, threatening to tell the truth about me, and so I did not press the matter. But I am ready now to reveal that secret," he said, his voice a mere whisper as he came to a halt before them.
"What secret is so... secretive... that you dared not tell?" asked Celeborn solemnly.
Erestor looked down with shame, gathering his courage. When he looked up again, he turned around to meet the eyes of the crowd. "I..."
"Be strong, Erestor," shouted Glorfindel. "Whatever it is, your friends will be here for you."
Bravely, Erestor smiled and shouted out, "I dye my hair." There was an initial shock, for sure, but then a sigh of relief from the whole of the crowd. Everyone, except Galadriel.
Throwing her glass of wine to shatter on the ground, Galadriel pulled out the unsigned divorce papers of ages past and called for a quill. "Here, you want them?" Scribbling her signature, in triplicate, Galadriel rolled them and flung the papers to Erestor's feet. "There you are. I hope you're happy."
During this, Lord Celeborn had pulled out his own marriage certificate, which he had been keeping with him all these years. Looking first at it, then to Galadriel, and back to the document, he began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" demanded Galadriel.
Holding up the sheet, Celeborn tore it down the middle. "I'm not legally bound to you," he said, ripping the sheet one again with each word and then tossing the scraps into the air. He was spinning Zhie in his arms before the pieces of paper had even hit the ground.
"Well I... I..." Galadriel stood up quickly, her chair knocking backward behind her. She raced away from the banquet with tears in her eyes, not seeing where she was going until she bumped right into a tall, strong elf who blocked her path.
"Where are you going, my lady?" asked the elf, steadying her and holding her close.
Sobbing, Galadriel wrapped her arms around his shoulders and sniffled as she retold the tale, adding in some things about a dragon and a troop of orcs and other nasty things to make our heroines look bad that we won't get into. This was followed by the explanation that she was no one's lady, having just been found out as having not been married all this time to the lord of the woods as the elf dried her eyes.
"I think I can fix that," offered the elf sincerely.
"How?" asked Galadriel, dabbing daintily at her eyes, really playing up 'elleth in distress' for him, whoever he was.
"I came to find my princess, but in you I not only find that, but one who can become my queen when time comes that my father either travels west or falls victim to an unfortunate accident involving spiders and lots of raspberry jam." Throwing back the hood of his elvish cloak, Legolas pulled Galadriel into a smoldering kiss before calling his mount, and neither was heard from again until well after our story was finished.
Back at the banquet, things were getting interesting, or at least more interesting than they were away from the banquet.
After giving the retreating figures of Galadriel and Legolas a curious glance, Zhie was brought back from her observation by the nuzzling of another elf against her ear. She giggled and smacked Celeborn on his shoulder, causing him to laugh heartily.
"Care to head back to your place and maybe you could show me around the Great Mallorn?" Zhie whispered against the Silver Lord's neck and gave him a little nip.
He smiled in reply, "Actually I think we will have to find a new place to live." And he whispered something into her ear and her eyes bugged while her mouth gaped.
Zhie turned around to find Treebeard looking forlorn and trying not to look at all the happy couples surrounding him. She placed two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly to catch his attention. The Ent bent down to see what it was she wanted.
"Hey there Mister Tall, Leafy and Pouty! I think there's something that you might find very interesting if you wanna follow us."
"Haroom-ah-really? And what could that be?" He raised a leafy eyebrow in question.
"The clue's in the mallorn tree - the great mallorn!" called out Celeborn. The Lord of Lorien led his lady towards the great mallorn after gesturing Laura and Mei to follow them as well. Treebeard followed the small group as if walking on eggshells, taking great care not to smash his feet into any other living creatures. When they stopped at the base of the Mallorn, Treebeard thought something seemed quite familiar and then Laura confirmed it.
"Oh my Gawd!!" Laura exclaimed. "Galadriel did this didn't she?"
Celeborn nodded sadly and looked down guiltily. "I couldn't stop her, you just don't know what she's like when she's in one of her moods... once I was strapped down for three days-um, well nevermind about that,. I mean, don't worry, Rumil fixed it, but... did I ever tell you about the time... "
Laura gave a small wave of her hands before the elf lord could continue and began a quiet whispered incantation, focusing her attention on the large tree. And then it happened. The branches shook and reached up as if they were stretching, dislodging the talan that had been built into it.
"Haaa-rooooooom! Roooom! Raaaaaah rooooorrruuummmm!"
But the sound didn't come from Treebeard, it was more feminine in its timbre. The Great Mallorn now tossed its long uppermost branches until they appeared to look like tendrils of hair. Treebeard was almost beside himself in a mixture of excitement and anger, unsure if he should in joy spring ahead, fall back in anger, or simply ha-room a little, but was more than happy when the now very obvious Entwife hurled herself into his embrace. The elves below ducked and ran out of the way of falling leaves and loose branches. If they hadn't been so happy to see this reunion, they would have been terrified and thinking they were under attack.
"Reeem aaaah rooom, if that elf witch were only within reach, oooh raaaah, I would crush her in my branches. But first, I have missed the feel of your bark, Fangorn."
The Entwife pressed herself against Treebeard, a sight that none of the elves below really wanted to see and they hoped the newly reunited couple would run away soon. They were relieved when the Ent grabbed the Entwife by the hand, and they ran off as much as one who was made of wood could run, waving good bye as they left.
"Oh thank Elbereth, I thought they were going to throw down right here and have Ent nookies." Mei shuddered as the group made their way back to the banquet, hoping to drink away the mental image of what could have transpired before their eyes.
----
The large glade by the island on the lake was lit with hundreds of little ornate lamps. The warm glow they emitted reminded the ladies of the enchanted fairy tales they had read as children.
"Most certainly like a fairy tale," Mei said, inspecting her gown one more time. The fabric cascaded down her shoulders, long sleeves reached the floor, the mithril belt on her tiny waist matched the circlet on her brow. Each of them, in fact, had delicate mithril crowns to last the ages, for mithril doesn't break, and will last a very, very long time.
Laura and Zhie also dressed in spectacular gowns and fidgeted with their hair and jewelry before the mirror while they took turns peeking out of the tent to see the guests that were gathering.
"Are they all here?" Laura asked.
"All," Zhie responded calmly.
"How can you be so calm anyway?" Mei asked Zhie as she smoothed a non-existent wrinkle on the bodice of her gown.
"She has been practicing all week," Laura said with a wink.
"Practicing?" Zhie blushed in a most charming way, fingering the lucky stone that Celeborn had given her and that she had concealed in the palm of her hand. "I most certainly have not!"
The whispers and rustling of gowns outside the tent stopped as the first notes of the music were heard in the clear evening. Shining starts were beginning to appear as if they also wanted to bear witness to this most magical event.
"She did practice," Laura whispered to Mei as they stood in line behind Zhie. "Being the lady of the woods is, after all, a big responsibility."
At a discreet signal by Gandalf, who had come to assist in the bonding ceremony, the tent's flaps were open to reveal three blushing brides ready to walk to the altar. Three very lucky elves squared their shoulders and smiled proudly. As well they should, after all they were going to marry the most beautiful, perfect and charming ellith ever to walk Arda. These were not random acts of kindness, but sincere acts of love being seen by everyone present.
As Zhie walked down the aisle the smell of vanilla and spring air wafted through the glade. Smiling, she stood next to Celeborn. He had a hard time making his brain function, so overtaken he was by her beauty. Not in all the time they had been together, nor his thousands of years, could have prepared him for the beauty he now saw.
"My Silver Moonbeam Sparkle," he whispered in her delicately pointed ear, knowing that poems don't have to rhyme and that the rhythm of his voice alone was enough to create a verse from the words that he bestowed upon her.
"Celebithilfaen," Zhie translated instantly. "Nameless no more," she sighed.
"You never cease to amaze me," he whispered back.
The tall cloaked figure standing before the altar cleared his throat. "May we begin now?"
Dinendla held Mei's perfectly manicured hand in his and kissed it softly, his eyes shone brightly and he had never been happier in his life. When she stood next to him he inhaled deeply, she smelled of sunshine and fresh rain, he could not wait to sign those damn papers and make her his, his, and his alone. Sharing had not been easy on the warden and by Eru was she a popular lady!
Glorfindel's beauty rivaled that of his bride, his midnight blue tunic with incredibly elaborate embroidery perfectly complimented her silvery gown, his shining golden hair hung loose, it was long and bouncy as her dark tresses. Their natural coloring contrasted making them look incredibly well standing side by side. With their finger intertwined they exchanged an uneasy look and Glorfindel briefly glanced back over his shoulder.
A discreet cough made them all look towards the altar again, "may we now begin?" he asked impatiently.
With a heavy sigh Laura nodded, Gandalf helped him remove his cloak, when his features were revealed all but the brides and grooms fell to their knees, his beauty was indescribable, the perfection of his features, the light that shone from his eyes made the stars hide in shame.
A heavy silence quickly substituted the crowd's previous whispering, it was not necessary to make introductions.
"Blessed Iluvatar, He has graced us with His presence!" Some in the crowd whispered.
More quickly followed in raising their voices to the almighty.
With a quick wave of his hand he dismissed them. His beautiful voice rang clear through the forest. "We are gathered here together……"
"Wait!"
Everyone looked back, running through the aisle a tall red-headed elf took his place next to Laura on the opposite side from Glorfindel.
"I am sorry," he said as he regained his composure and tried to catch his breath. "Getting rid of the hair dye took a lot longer than expected," he offered as an explanation.
Laura and Glorfindel each kissed him on the cheek. "It is perfectly fine, love," Laura told him.
"My, Ress, you look incredibly handsome," Fin said with a wink.
Raising an elegantly arched eyebrow and shaking his head, Iluvatar started again.
"We are gathered here together..."
----
In Ithilien, on a balcony overlooking the land, Eowyn stood with a puzzled look on her face. "Dearest," she said to Faramir as she looked down upon the courtyard, "do you know those people?"
Faramir stood and came to join his wife, their hair blown together, tresses of ebony and pale gold intertwined in the light evening breeze, billowing behind them as they looked down to see a small group of elves standing below, waving to him. As he leaned over the rail, three flowered bouquets were tossed up to him, and each he caught with ease to the shouts of 'Thank you, Faramir!' and 'We love you, Faramir!' They then disappeared into the forest, walkers in the night, headed to further adventures and tales untold.
"Who are those people?" asked Eowyn, more with curiosity than concern as she followed
Faramir back into their private chambers from the balcony. He smelled the flowers before looking up to regard her and her question.
"Oh, I'm not sure. Admirers of my work, I suppose," he said in a very nonchalant fashion as he discretely turned to the reader and winked.
