How difficult is the concept of no? I understand, that when one gives a command in the negative to an elfling, he or she will likely pout and sometimes cry, often scream or flail their arms and legs about like a small, burrowing animal.
The elfling in question is thousands of years old. Furthermore, I'm married to him.
"I have to go," he tells me.
Never a 'I wanted to let you know...' or a 'I'd rather be snuggling with you in a tree, but I must...' or at least a 'Tonight there's elving going on so...'.
So, I told him no.
"No, what?" His expression was one of perplexity.
Do male elves have something wrong with their short-term memories that less than a moment after they have said something, it is forgotten? Is this some sort of defense mechanism, built into their heads by Eru?
I explained that no, he was not going out. We had plans. Dinner was nearly done. My feet were sore from scrying all day. I had other reasons, but when I turned around, he was gone.
No kiss goodbye, no pat on the head, not even a pinch on the, erm, hand.. for good luck..
Old elven custom.
Anyhow . . .
I was quite upset. I tend to get very mad when I'm upset. There are rumors that sometimes, kinslayings have happened.
However, my therapist has told me on several occasions that I need to confront my anger instead of merely picking up a sword and chasing my husband around our talan. Metaphorically speaking. I'm not actually allowed to have sharp objects anymore.
So, I went to the most likely place that he could be.
Did you know, that little what's her name, the one who keeps trying to cuddle up to my husband, she retaliated against the restraining order I used to have against her by putting up a big sign that says 'No Evil Elves Allowed'.
I thought, perhaps Eol's in the neighborhood, but my picture was taped to the sign.
Obviously, I still went in, and before she could protest, was searching every closet and crawlspace to find him.
I wasn't aware of the fact that two full grown elves could cower under her desk at the same time. Neither was my husband, though, so I won't bore you with the details. Instead, I took charge of the situation.
I brought out the foghorn.
All I had to do was raise it up into the air, and she was ready to talk. Except, she didn't know anything about Celeborn's mysterious disappearance, either.
Damn.
So, I returned home, only to find him waiting in our talan.
"Where were you?" he asks.
The whole story comes out. I hit him - gently - a few times, and he starts to laugh.
"I had to go," he says again, and nods his head in the direction of the ladder that leads outside to the privy.
Did you know, I blush a very pretty shade of red.
Lord Celeborn said so himself.
