“What?” Glorfindel stooped down in front of Erestor. “Did I hear you right?”
“It was a long, long time ago,” explained Erestor. His chin quivered. “I was young, he was young... we had not even reached our majority, not quite.”
“You were the same age?”
“Almost. I was a little older.” A tear slid down his cheek. “We had no idea what we were feeling, we just felt a connection. It was not something we expected to have happen – we used to spend a lot of time together. One day, we just... we were just sitting and talking and goofing around, and then he leaned against me and practically fell into my lap, and... the next thing I knew...”
“You lied to me.” Glorfindel sat down on the floor in disbelief. “Why would you have done that? Why... why? If this is true – and, forgive me this time, because I am having a difficult time believing you – why would you have kept this from me?”
“It all went very badly when it came out.” Erestor was openly weeping now as he told the story. “We said nothing to anyone, but people began to suspect just from how we acted. Our parents somehow discovered where we were meeting and confronted us – he lost his temper and it all came tumbling out.”
“Go on,” coaxed Glorfindel, sensing more to the story.
“My parents threw me out; disowned me. I was told it was unnatural and the only way I would be accepted back was to be married to an ellyth. He had the same sort of problem.”
“What happened to him?” asked Glorfindel as Erestor removed a cloth from his pocket and blew his nose.
It took Erestor some time to collect his thoughts, his eyelids swollen, his nose red, his voice thick with emotion. “His father gave him a choice – he could stay with me and lose his place in the hierarchy, or he could leave me and regain his title. We both lived on the farm together for some time – those were uncertain years, but... we were happy, for that little while.” The tears began to flow again, and Erestor recalled the past. “Then word came to us that his father was to proclaim the children of his second marriage as the true heirs, and he would not be next in line any longer. We talked about it; we agreed he needed to make amends with his father. It was not long before he announced his own engagement. He came privately to tell me; we sat and cried together for hours. Then he was gone, a shadow of the past.”
“But you continued to see him; at least, there were times you were at events and celebrations together.”
“Of course, but he was married, and he was happy. He was truly happy. I saw how his wife made him feel, and how he adored his children, and I wanted that,” admitted Erestor. “I needed that, because I was slowly going insane without him.”
“None of the others you were with after him gave you the sort of happiness you were looking for,” said Glorfindel flatly.
“You have,” Erestor told him. “You have given me all I have ever wanted, and more.”
“Why did you keep this from me? Why did you keep acting like...” Glorfindel shook his head. “You were the one who kept telling me it was fine to be this way – and look at you! You give me advice you could never take yourself! You knew how much I was in love with you, for all those years! How could you lie to me – repeatedly?”
Erestor shook his head wordlessly.
“I need an answer, Erestor. I am just sick right now as I think of everything that has happened to us.”
“I was ashamed! You have no idea how bad it was here in those days.” Erestor reached out to touch Glorfindel; his hand was intercepted and held. “It was very hard for me to cope with. I did not have anyone there to tell me it was all right. In fact, there were a lot of people telling me how awful and wrong I was.”
“But when we were in Rivendell… there was no reason for you to continue the act there. You could have easily revealed yourself. Think of all the time together that was lost,” said Glorfindel.
Erestor squeezed Glorfindel’s hand. “My whole world came crashing down – twice. Three or four times, if you count Gondolin. I was more fragile than you know. Besides, every time I came close to saying something, Gildor would show up.”
“Oh, right…” Glorfindel gave Erestor’s arm a little tug. “Come down here by me. You cannot be comfortable sitting on that.”
Erestor sniffled and joined Glorfindel on the floor. “I am sorry for behaving as I have.”
“You had your reasons, no matter how absurd. I would have left Gildor in a heartbeat to be with you, and you know that.”
“I felt unworthy of you.”
Glorfindel could not help but chuckle. “Oh, come now.”
“It is true! Glorfindel, you are so high above me… of course, because you are, you do not see it. You are so much better than I will ever be – of course, I did not think Gildor was worthy of you, either, but then I am not sure anyone really is.”
“I want you,” assured Glorfindel, “and all of your little imperfections. I want you to stop leering at anyone else, though, and I want you to start being my partner in public. Do you have any idea how bad it is to have to stand off to the side while your husband pays more attention to some hussy than he does to you?”
Erestor sighed. “I am sorry.”
Glorfindel was quiet, contemplative, as if a sudden thought had come to him. “You know… I was trying to think, how could we break you of the habit – but then, the reason you do it is to keep up appearances. If you just turn off your charm tomorrow, everyone is going to think something is wrong. Then we will have many weeks of convincing people everything is fine, but some who will not believe it – honesty is the best way to go with these sorts of things.”
“What are you talking about?” wondered Erestor.
“Remember that other secret you were trying to keep, and failed miserably in doing so? No one was supposed to know Haldir was your son, and no one was supposed to know you were a Vala—“
“Part Vala,” Erestor corrected.
“Whatever. The point is, we got everyone together and tell them all at once.”
Erestor looked petrified. “Everyone?”
“Well, no, not EVERYONE… I meant, everyone at the house. How long did it take for your other secrets to spread across Valinor? Auntie Galadriel has a very tough time keeping her mouth shut when it comes to good gossip,” remarked Glorfindel. “After dinner tonight, when we all retire to the parlor. It will be the perfect time to talk about this, and any other secrets you happen to think of between now and then.”
As Glorfindel began to stand up, he heard Erestor say, “I know it was you.”
Glorfindel sat back down again. “What?”
“The night of the wedding… I know it was you.” Crimson colored Erestor’s cheeks. “You said, any other secrets I had I should tell you about. Well, I know it was you. Tauniel and Aranel both had their hair tied up, but someone’s hair brushed my thighs… and I could… smell you. You have a very distinct scent.”
One eyebrow arched in semi-amusement. Glorfindel leaned in closer and whispered, “You knew, and you said nothing. You really are stupid, love. You could have had that every night.” Glorfindel enunciated each word. “Instead, your bed was cold and your arms were empty.”
“I know.” Erestor’s voice was wistful and forlorn.
“I think we can skip telling everyone about that second secret,” decided Glorfindel as he helped Erestor up off of the ground. “That first, one, though, is not going to stay hidden much longer.”
