I wish that I had changed into something else, for when Glorfindel entered, I felt completely indecent in what I had on. Not until he sat down in the seat I offered him by the fire did I realize he was in the colors of his house, dressed as often he had been in Gondolin.
We did not speak for long, finding comfort in the company of each other. The fire warmed us, as did the wine, and I found need to open the window. A fresh breeze drifted through the room, and Glorfindel looked at me as I returned, and though he blamed his shiver on the wind, I knew better from the look in his eyes.
- - -
Erestor dipped his quill into the jar of ink and frowned as he reread the words. Shifting in bed to gain a better position in which to write – as well as a more comfortable position for his sore muscles, Erestor paused to think, and flipped forward to another passage he had already finished.
- - -
I never would have guessed that the act of making love would cause one to become quite as famished as I was. Glorfindel kindly offered to prepare a snack and bring it back to the room, if I would consider completing a task for him.
Disappearing into the back rooms, Glorfindel returned with this very unfinished journal, as well as a quill and a bottle of silvery grey ink. “I record a lot of daily notes, as you know, and sometimes I write fictional stories to pass the time. I would love for you to… document our encounter for… historical purposes,” Glorfindel had told me carefully before peppering my cheeks with kisses and then leaving the room.
- - -
Realizing that in all honesty he could probably skip the small talk, Erestor began to write once again.
- - -
His eyes wandered across my body, and I felt his touch as well as if it had been his own hand, my breath catching in my throat as his stare lingered. Abruptly, he turned to look at the fire and spoke. “The hour is late. I should retire.” Glorfindel stood up and nodded toward me. I stood as the next words tumbled from my mouth.
“It would be folly for you to leave,” I said to him. He turned and answered,
“It would be folly for me to stay. Unless you have reason otherwise.”
“There is already a fire burning here,” I quickly said, motioning to the small hearth. “It would be wasteful to start another.”
Glorfindel sat back down and regarded me curiously as I seated myself. “I do need to rest,” he told me carefully.
“Is not my bed large enough for two?” My stomach knotted, and I added, “It would be just like when we were in Gondolin.”
“No, it would not,” chuckled Glorfindel.
Sighing deeply, I said, “No, I suppose not.” This was becoming more awkward than I had expected, considering the words Glorfindel had shared with me. “Glorfindel, will you spend this night with me?”
Glorfindel did not answer, instead swirling his drink in his glass. Frustrated, I let my fist drop onto the arm of my chair, startling Fin. “Do you know how difficult this is for me?”
“I told you, you did not have to do anything if you did not want to. I promise you, I shall never take another to my bed, and I will not force you to let me into yours.”
“You are not forcing me to do anything. I am asking you.” Closing my eyes, I rubbed the bridge of my nose. It was then that I realized how formal this was. Had I ever considered saying anything so intimate to a lover while sitting across the room? Had I thought properly of this, I would have asked him to join me on the furs before the fire instead of the chairs nearby.
In one fluid motion, I was standing and another moment later, knelt before Glorfindel and took his free hand into mine. “Aiya, Fin, you make things so difficult,” I chided, ignoring his sudden look of confusion as he placed his glass aside and curled his other hand around mine. “Too long have I been alone, dear Fin. I wish to be complete, and you are the one who completes me.”
Playing with my fingers, rubbing them in his own hands, he leaned forward as he bent nearer. Something of the old Glorfindel was there in his eyes, the Glorfindel I met in Gondolin, that quiet and reserved elf that I thought had perished long ago. That Elf that I loved, that I still loved, so very much. “Would you permit me to kiss you, Erestor?”
My throat constricted upon his request, but I managed to nod my consent to him. “Please?” I whispered. Softly our lips met, then slid, parted, and opened. I surprised myself as I let my tongue glide over his, exploring his mouth hungrily and more boldly than I had planned to. I withdrew abruptly, feeling guilty as I saw his wide-eyed stare.
Blushing, I turned my head and swallowed hard as I tried to pull myself up. Instead, Glorfindel moved forward and fell to his own knees on the floor. His hands left mine and found their way to my burning cheeks, and with some trepidation, I looked up into his eyes.
We held that gaze for some time as the wood in the fireplace snapped and spit, rain beginning to run down the high windows, errant drops hitting the floor beneath the open one. I did not expect him to lunge at me as he did, but if he had been slower, I may have turned away once more. His tongue thrust into my mouth, hands sliding back into my hair. I had little choice but to submit, my own fingers wrapping around his shoulders, clawing and kneading as he fed my long hidden hunger.
Neither of us made any attempt to change our position, simply kissing and caressing one another, saying nothing. It was so easy to simply love and be loved, after living so long without love. I jerked slightly when Glorfindel’s hand found its way deep into the folds of my robe and beneath the fabric that covered lower, and he began to pull away. Catching his wrist, I placed his hand back where it had been.
“Touch me, Fin. Help me, please. Satisfy this need I did not know I had.”
His tone changed. It was not quite accusational, but it was close. “You knew. You always knew.”
I found I could not deny it. “Please...”
“Please?” He brought a finger to my mouth, tracing my lips. “Please... a request. Even more, to be made happy... given pleasure... delight... gratification... satisfaction...” The finger moved slowly down my chin, over my throat and the knot as I swallowed. It continued over my chest, following the muscles. He suddenly pulled it away. “But am I to satisfy your need or are you to satisfy mine?” he asked cryptically. I paused, stopping my hands where they were upon his thighs.
“Are they not one in the same?”
“Dear Erestor, there is a great amount of physical improbability to what you suggest,” he answered with a wink. His hands and lips began to move once more over my clothed body. Drawing his tongue over the curve of my ear to the point, he nipped and asked, “Do you wish to give or to receive?”
That is when the impact of what I was about to partake in finally came to me. When morning came, my soul would be bound – fused forever to Glorfindel’s. I was filled with fear, and with excitement, and could not seem to think.
“Erestor?” Glorfindel drew back and his eyes searched mine as his hand began to slowly stroke the inside of my thigh, letting his hand wander slowly.
“I do not know, Glorfindel,” I panted truthfully, letting my eyelids droop.
“Tell me how you feel, beautiful one,” purred Glorfindel. He licked my throat, and I bent my head back with a moan, encouraging his touch. His fingers gently slid the meager robe from my shoulders, and as it fell to the ground, his hands pushed down the material that hindered him below. “Tell me truly. Hide nothing. Reveal yourself to me.”
“I burn,” I gasped, digging my fingers into his upper arms as he curled his own hand around my most private of places. “You have set me on fire, and I burn for you. I wish to be yours. Completely yours.”
“Then I shall have you,” he growled, low and soft, and began to nuzzle at my neck as his hands began the task of removing the rest of my clothing. “I shall take you... and keep you... for you are mine now.” I found I could do little more than steady myself, hands upon his shoulders, as he kissed my throat and pulled at the sash that had been tied about his own waist, dropping it to the floor. “Erestor…” he whispered against my skin. “My Erestor…”
I shuddered and exploded despite the lack of his physical touch, and blushed a deep crimson this time. There was a sort of dumb look on Glorfindel’s face as he ran his fingers through the silvery discharge that had sprayed upon my skin, as if he needed contact with the proof before believing it. “You are a most sensual elf,” he told me, looking around for something to clean things up.
“Nay, it is you,” I countered, breathing heavily, still holding him within my grasp. “Your words are the perfect intercourse.”
“You only think that because I have not had my way with you yet,” he smirked, pulling the sash he had discarded moments ago from the discarded clothing and using it to clean me. “Just wait until I have you beneath me in that bed.” His eyes flitted to my mattress, left unmade across the room. “You may think you have known pleasure before, but I promise you, I will have you begging for me to...” He stopped before entirely finishing, and bowed his head, lowering his body down.
I held my breath as his tongue came in contact with my flesh, licking the droplets that had not yet been cleaned from my stomach and thighs. “Fin,” I whimpered as the tip of his tongue flicked out and danced across my skin, panicking now as I began to realize just what I was getting myself into. “Fin…I cannot…It is just, I do not…” My protest died as I felt a sudden warmth flood my body. I looked down and beheld such a sight as never I expected. Waves of pleasure overtook my fears, and I rested my hands on his shoulders, head thrown back as he provided such stimulation as I had not often known, and hardly recalled. Yet, this time was different from so many others. This time it felt overwhelmingly good, and I set my hands on the back of his head to coax him further for my voice failed me.
The rhythm Glorfindel set was exquisite, and soon my words were nothing more than mewls and whimpers, sounds I never thought myself capable of making. I was never so undone with another lover, never comfortable enough to allow myself such freedom to let go. Once more was I erect, and he took me fully into his mouth before letting me slip away, dragging his teeth lightly across my flesh so that I cried out, cursing, and begging – as predicted – when the sensation ebbed away.
“I think you can,” he purred. “I think you want to,” he pressed. Glorfindel stood and looked down as I lifted my chin, gazing up at him. His smile was warm and lazy as he set his hand upon my head, dragging his fingers back through my hair. He twisted his fingers and pulled back, dominating for that moment as he held me in place. “I think you will.”
Before I could answer, he left. His hand was gone from my hair, he from my chambers, and I knelt upon the floor, with nothing more than my own labored breath to hear. Settling back, balancing on the palms of my hands, I knew the choice before me.
His promise was never to bring up the matter again, not unless I had. And I had. Oh, had I ever. Yet, close at it had come, he still gave me the choice. A final means to escape my fate. Our fate. Predestined. I shuddered. I never had a choice, I realized, and yet, through this act of concession on his part, the choice was now clear in my mind.
I stood, and I ached, but it was my soul and not my body that controlled my thoughts now. No longer was I listening to what I thought, but instead, to what I felt. What I knew, and had somehow always known.
- - -
Presently, Glorfindel entered through the open doorway, bringing with him a large steaming plate and a pitcher of cool water. Setting them on a long table that was against the wall, he leaned over to kiss Erestor’s cheek, and then headed into the back rooms, coming back with a pair of drinking glasses. “How is it coming along?” Glorfindel asked, settling down on the bed next to where Erestor was propped up against the pillows. Erestor moved a little more toward the center to give Glorfindel more space and counted the pages he had written in.
“I have finished seven pages,” Erestor told him, handing Glorfindel the quill so that it could be placed aside. “What have you brought?”
“I have brought you something delicious,” replied Glorfindel. Erestor awaited an answer, and Glorfindel grinned. “Oh, you mean the food…” He reached around to retrieve the snack while Erestor slapped his shoulder. Chuckling, Glorfindel held the plate with one hand and pulled one of the treats from it, a trail of melted cheese clinging to it as he lifted it in front of Erestor’s mouth.
“What are they?” Erestor asked, putting the book aside.
“They are very good,” answered Glorfindel.
Erestor laughed. “You have no clue!”
“It is something the Halflings eat, you must trust me! It is good. Very good,” he corrected.
Leaning forward, Erestor bit into the food he was offered. Hidden under the cheese were buttered mushrooms, slices of pepper, and chunks of tomato on top of bread. “This is very good. Much better than what I made for dinner.”
“It is nothing, really,” Glorfindel smiled, feeding the rest of that slice to Erestor. “You know, this has been quite a day,” he said, licking his buttery fingers.
“Mmmhmm,” agreed Erestor as he chewed. After swallowing, he said, “Quite an incredible day.”
“I am sorry about your library,” blurted out Glorfindel. “I know how much work you put into it, and what you had to do to convince Elrond to even build one, which seems so silly considering the hours he used to spend in it. But, it was not his library, it was your library, and I am sure when we get to Valinor, he is going to just let you still keep the books where you would like, or, is there a public library in Valinor? I am sorry, I do not know some of these things, and I just hate to see you unhappy.”
Erestor picked up one of the cheesy slices of bread and ate it quietly. When he finished, he said, “Today I realized how much I am going to miss Imladris. It is not just the books, Fin, it is the entire place. Everywhere else I lived never seemed quite like home, quite like Valinor. But this house comes close.”
“You are still going to sail eventually?” asked Glorfindel with worry.
“Oh, yes,” replied Erestor. “In time. But I will miss Imladris.” Sighing, he added, “I think now I may miss it even more.” His eyes had a faraway look, and he closed them as his chin trembled.
Glorfindel put aside the plate and drew his arms around Erestor. “We are not leaving yet,” he said in a happy and slightly silly voice that immediately became serious. “Please do not cry, Erestor,” he said, soft and low. “I can not stand the pain of it.”
“I am not going to cry, Glorfindel,” Erestor assured him, “though, I think right now, I might be amiable to any of the comforting, holding, and… and kissing that you wrote about earlier.”
“Only kissing?” sighed Glorfindel playfully.
“Comforting and holding were also mentioned.”
This caused Glorfindel to pout. “That appears to be a very limited list of options you have given me, Ress.”
“Ress? Who is Ress?”
“You are, my dear,” stated Glorfindel.
“Since when?”
“If I am Fin, then you are Ress,” Glorfindel said matter-of-factly. “Glor-FIN-del, E-RESS-tor.”
“It is not E-restor, it is ER-estor,” corrected Erestor pointedly. “Honestly.”
“I am not calling you Er, that just sounds silly, as does Es. Now, I have put a lot of thought into this, and I think Ress suits you.”
“No, Erestor suits me,” argued the darker elf. “It is my name, and what I wish to be called.”
Erestor found himself flat on his back and pinned down a moment later. “I love the sound of your name,” purred Glorfindel after dragging his tongue along Erestor’s jaw. “Even more,” he continued, nipping at the other’s ear, “I love to hear your name on my lips. I think you love to hear your name on my lips even more than I love saying your name,” he flicked his tongue at the tip of Erestor’s ear and whispered, “Erestor – Not, E-res-tor…” Even the incorrect pronunciation made the elf beneath him shudder.
“Now, in the future – in the very near future, I should hope – when we make love, I should like to have something a bit simpler to call you. I could simply say—“ Glorfindel sat up and back a little now that Erestor was temporarily subdued, and taking hold of his lover’s hardening length, continued in a low and seductive voice, “—I could say to you, as you thrust into me, deep within my body, I could call out, ‘Oh, yes, my love, yes!’.” Glorfindel abruptly stopped, and Erestor whined as the touching ceased. “Very impersonal,” Glorfindel explained, pretending to ignore the needful moans. “I could also simply use your entire name. For example,” Glorfindel wrapped his hand around the stiff member, and resuming his manipulation, cried out rather convincingly, “Oh Erestor, by the Valar! Do not stop, Erestor! Do not cease!”
It was not Erestor who paused, but Glorfindel, whose hands were now firmly on either side of Erestor’s waist. Erestor let out a frustrated sob as Glorfindel lowered himself again, so that his lips were almost upon Erestor’s ear as he spoke, and his lover’s erection was pressed between their bodies. “But I think there are enough who call you Erestor, and I would call you something more personal than that. Just as you called out to me, your voice hoarse and strained, crying out to ‘Fin’, telling him to take your flushed, aching, beautiful body, Erestor, I would have something to scream when it is you who has me undone.”
Words tumbled into Erestor’s ear, words of desire, of such passion, though neither had penetrated the other’s body, Glorfindel assaulted Erestor’s mind with such heat, he threw back his head and moaned as he heard them. “Deeper, Ress, yes—Oh! Yes… Take me harder, Ress, take me over the edge, do not stop!” panted Glorfindel, causing himself to be aroused. “I think the name to be perfect, Ress,” growled Glorfindel, and Erestor was barely able to nod.
“Now, Ress,” Glorfindel said, propping himself back up and causing Erestor to become even more frustrated, “I do believe that you have greatly limited my options for the remainder of the evening.”
“Fin…” Erestor whined and blinked his eyes open. “I just had hoped not to be so sore come morning.”
Grinning, Glorfindel had their positions reversed moments later, and winked up at Erestor. “Who said you would get to have all the fun?” he asked, folding his arms behind his head as he spread his legs further apart. Erestor licked his lips and smiled down at him. “I do not expect to be sore, Ress,” Glorfindel continued, “I expect to be completely unable to walk in the morning.”
“Is that a challenge?” Erestor inquired.
“Oh, I was quite hoping it would be a promise,” said Glorfindel, conjuring up a very naughty look.
“I hate to break promises,” murmured Erestor as he bowed his head and nuzzled Glorfindel’s neck.
Glorfindel’s head lolled back and turned to the side. “How do you want me?”
“Hmm?” Erestor sat back on his haunches.
“Not like this,” drawled Glorfindel as he sat up until the tip of his nose was touching the tip of Erestor’s. “You want me... like this...?” Glorfindel turned over and balanced on his elbows and knees, presenting his bare body to his lover.
“Oh... yes...” Erestor swallowed hard and placed a hand gently upon Glorfindel’s hip, fingertips only. “Yes. Like this,” he agreed, languidly moving his fingers along Glorfindel’s side. His other hand rested upon Glorfindel’s thigh. Erestor looked around nervously, and when he made no other move, Glorfindel looked over his shoulder and caught the uncertain expression.
“Darling, there is no one here but you and I,” he said reassuringly. “Do what you want, baby. Love me slow, take me hard, no one is watching.”
Erestor moved his hands away, dropping them to his side. “I do not wish to harm you.”
As he smiled softly, Glorfindel closed his eyes and said, “I am ready for you. Go ahead; see for yourself.”
Just as when he was confused about a recipe, Erestor’s tongue peeked out from one corner of his mouth as he carefully used his hands to move both sides of Glorfindel’s rear apart. He frowned as he examined what he found, unsure of what he was looking for.
After about a minute, Glorfindel opened one eye, lifted his head slightly, and opened the other. “You are such a virgin!” he said with playful laughter. “Just stick your finger in there. Go on. You will not hurt me.”
Erestor took a deep breath and hesitantly did as he was told. Once past the small yet relaxed entrance, he slid right in, the passage slick. He blinked in surprise as he easily pulled his finger back out with little resistance and heard Glorfindel happily sigh.
“Told you. You really need to learn to trust me more.”
“How did you—“
“When I was in the kitchen.” He arched his back willingly. “I found some oil that was not too thick.”
“Is this safe?” worried Erestor.
“More or less,” Glorfindel replied. “Now, stop thinking with the head on your shoulders. It is not every day that the most gorgeous, charming blond warrior in all of creation places himself at your mercy, to be taken as you will.”
Erestor rubbed his oily finger over the tip of his erection. “Maybe not, but I expect it to happen more often from now on.”
“Noted, counselor. Now, if you would be so kind, will you please shove that rock hard cock of yours up my---“ The next word was cut off as the charming blond warrior lowered his gorgeous head back down onto the pillow and moaned. “My...” His voice muffled into the pillow as Erestor shifted the rest of his weight forward.
“You were saying?” asked Erestor slyly as he held Glorfindel’s hips with firm hands.
“I... I was... I forgot...” Glorfindel strained to lift his back end up as high as possible. “Come on... move or something...”
The first few thrusts were so awkward that Glorfindel groaned not in pleasure but in frustration. “Stop, stop, hold on.” He managed to gain Erestor’s attention and sighed.
“What? In and out, I was doing it right,” Erestor began to argue.
“I will give you in and out,” Glorfindel conceded, “but there is more to it than that. There should be... rhythm. Like music—like dancing,” he said quickly, aware of Erestor’s frustration. “Close your eyes and try it.”
Erestor mumbled something about being taken to task by a youth less than half his age, but closed his eyes nonetheless. “Alright, my eyes are closed.” He rested back into a low kneeling position as well, for he had become flaccid and discouraged. “Now what?”
There was a rustle of the sheets, which was soon followed by the feeling of warm breath on Erestor’s neck as Glorfindel snuggled up behind him. “I want you... to make love to me. Take me. Use me. I want you to fuck me. Hard.” Every sentence was punctuated by a nip on the shoulder or a swipe of Glorfindel’s tongue around Erestor’s jaw or ear.
“I want you buried deep. So deep. To the root. Again and again and again.” Glorfindel’s teeth tugged on a sensitive earlobe. “And then...”
“Yes?” Erestor had to swallow, mouth dry from panting.
“Then, I want you to explode,” whispered Glorfindel as he crawled back into position. “I want you to fill me so full it drips down my leg when you pull out. Open your eyes.”
Erestor did, seeing first his erection once again jutting forward, pointing directly toward it’s target.
“Ress.” Glorfindel waited until they made eye contact. “Fuck me. Please.”
Long-hidden instinct took over. Erestor grasped Glorfindel’s hips and plunged into the moist heat, growling in pleasure. It was less awkward, but still timid to begin. With Glorfindel’s encouragement, Erestor increased his pace and confidence.
They made love throughout the night, stopping only briefly now and then, until exhaustion slowed their muscles and minds. With a mutual promise to continue their sexual explorations the next day, they sleepily and almost bashfully cuddled under the covers, sharing kisses and secrets and an occasional tearful revelation about the past.
In the early morning hours, while Glorfindel slept, enfolded in Erestor’s arms, the elder elf recalled the first episode of lovemaking they had shared late that previous evening in the very bed they rested. His body hurt, but it was such a wonderful pain, having exerted himself to exhaustion, but too happy to rest.
Nestled against him, so tired that he had drifted from reverie to sleep, Glorfindel was peacefully relaxed in his arms. Freeing one hand, Erestor used it to lightly touch his newly discovered lover, smiling as Glorfindel cuddled closer and mumbled a few words.
“I love you, too, Fin,” returned Erestor, kissing Glorfindel’s nose before letting his body rest and his mind wander to previous events.
