It was hinted at, now and then, but ignored and shoved aside. There was compromise in every relationship, Glorfindel had to remind himself each time the subject snuck into a midnight conversation. Part of him always felt guilty when he gently rejected the idea and changed the topic, but that was just part of who he was. If someone was unhappy, so was Glorfindel – and he was most unhappy when it was Erestor.
It took a long time for him to gather the courage to bring up the subject on his own – ironic, considering how fearless he normally was. He had gone over it in his head many times; nightmares often followed. The details took years to work out, but he finally seemed to have come to a solution.
“These are my terms,” he said quietly once he had Erestor’s full attention. They were sitting in the parlor, very late at night, and only after adjoining rooms had been checked for stragglers. It was a conversation meant to be kept private, but Glorfindel knew he would be too nervous if they spoke about it in the bedroom. He had gone over his speech there twice, but each time a single glance at the bed made him forget his train of thought, feel trapped, and force him to seek the outdoors. The parlor was much better, with the open doorway, large windows, and ample space between them as they sat on chairs opposite one another. “No rope. No leather. No blindfolds of any sort, which includes no darkness. I must be able to see you at all times.”
“Of course, of course,” agreed Erestor after each sentence, nodding, trying to keep his enthusiasm hidden. “That does limit the possibilities, though I suppose—“
“Nothing metal,” continued Glorfindel, picking up on the thought. “No chains and no shackles. Nothing heavy and nothing hard, and nothing that resembles any of that.”
“What should I use?” questioned Erestor.
Glorfindel shrugged. “That is your task to figure out. You will have to find something light and soft and gentle that is not metal or hithlain or leather. In addition, no... implements of any kind.”
Erestor looked a little confused. “What do you mean?”
He had hoped not to have to actually talk about this part, but Glorfindel had to be certain that they completely understood one another. “No whips or belts or... or... any of that,” he settled on when he saw Erestor nod again. “Finally, there are to be two safe words. One for you to stop for a moment and give me time to relax, and another if I should need to call it off completely.”
“I understand,” replied Erestor. “I suspect you have chosen these words already?”
“I have. Do you accept my terms?”
Erestor almost laughed at how serious Glorfindel was, but knowing how difficult it was for Glorfindel to agree to this, he solemnly nodded.
Four nights later, following dinner and a walk on the beach, the pair stood before the door of their bedroom. “Do not be afraid to stop me at any time,” whispered Erestor as he pushed the door open.
Glorfindel nodded and stepped into the room, dimly lit by a single candle that was soon used to light the others that were spread over the surface of the vanity table and the armoire. As Erestor finished the task of illuminating the room in the soft glow of candlelight, Glorfindel crouched down at the foot of the bed so he could examine what had already been tied to each of the posts of the canopy.
A length of silken ribbon, half the width of his hand, was draped over each corner. It looked pink or violet – it was difficult to tell in the dim light. As he stood, he felt Erestor standing behind him, and a pair of hands rested upon his shoulders and began to massage the tension from them. “Would you prefer something else?”
“I think it... might work,” mumbled Glorfindel, his mind numbed as it all sunk in. This thing, that he declared he would never do, was about to be done. It made him shiver all the more as his clothing was stripped from his body, and in their wake, needful kisses on bare skin.
They tumbled onto the bed when those delicious and delightful lips forced his to kiss back. Glorfindel forgot about their intended purpose that evening and tugged Erestor’s shirt off, hands now too busy to worry about the rest as they tangled into midnight tresses.
When Erestor tried to gently turn him onto his stomach, Glorfindel shoved him away. “I need to be facing you,” he reminded him warningly. Erestor nodded, caught in the moment, and remembered himself. A kiss of reassurance followed, and then Erestor rose up, knelt between Glorfindel’s legs, and ran a hand down his lover’s smooth, heaving chest before lowering himself back toward the foot of the bed, and Glorfindel’s feet.
Glorfindel breathed deeply, nostrils filling with the sweet smell of lavender from the burning candles. He felt one of his feet lifted up, and left to rest on Erestor’s thigh as the end of the ribbon enrobed his ankle. As the end was threaded through again and tightened, Glorfindel opened his mouth, about to use one of the predetermined words.
But which one? He reflected upon this as Erestor moved to his other foot, and slowly repeated the steps he had on the other. Glorfindel’s gut feeling was to call off the entire thing, but then, he would feel terrible for having made Erestor think they were going to do this. On the other hand, he doubted there would be much pleasure in it for either of them if they got too far along before the decision was made.
On the other hand – though Glorfindel’s mind was swimming too fast to realize he had actually run out of other hands at this point – everything he had demanded was given to him. The room was adequately lit, the door was closed, there was not a sign anywhere of any object that might distress him. The ribbon was comfortable; he barely noticed it, to be honest. Most importantly, Erestor, whom he trusted more than anyone else, was here and would allow no harm to come to him.
“Are you alright?”
Glorfindel looked up and nodded, and found he had been trembling. “Just a little nervous,” he readily admitted as Erestor lifted one of his hands from where it rested upon the bed sheet. “Always like that the first time,” he added somewhat jokingly.
Erestor held Glorfindel’s hand with both of his own, and for a moment, Glorfindel wondered if the concerned expression he saw looking back at him was a split second away from calling it off. Indeed, it would be easier if Erestor was the one to, because Glorfindel would not feel so much a failure. It was unlikely, he knew as Erestor lifted his hand and tenderly kissed it before reaching for the length of ribbon tied to the nearest post. They had the words, and Erestor had sworn to stop upon hearing them, and only upon hearing them.
For some reason, Glorfindel felt greater anxiety when his first wrist was bound, his limb stretched out and useless to him. He gave an imperceptible tug at it when Erestor walked around to the other side of the bed, and panic set in when his lone free arm was suddenly taken hold of by Erestor. The movements were slow and gentle, but in Glorfindel’s mind, it was happening too fast now – so fast, he could not recall the words, nothing, it was all a blank, only the fear and the panic and the—
“Stop!” he cried out as the final knot was tied that would immobilize him. “Erestor, please, stop, let me go – Erestor, I cannot remember them – I have forgotten the words, Erestor, please!” He broke down, labored sobs tormenting him as Erestor quickly worked the knot loose and unwrapped the second wrist he had bound. Before he could move to the other side, Glorfindel was already hurriedly untying it himself, and he dropped back down against the pillows when his other arm was freed. “Sorry, I... I thought I would do better than that,” he shamefully apologized. A moment later, he was pulled up into his lover’s arms, held until his tears could be wiped away. “Sorry,” he muttered one final time.
“Glorfindel, I should apologize, not you. I could feel your unrest, and yet I kept going thinking to help you overcome this. It was wrong of me.” He rubbed Glorfindel’s back until the blond was relaxed again. “Let me untie your feet and then we can sleep and forget about all of this.”
While Erestor sat down at the foot of the bed and began to work on loosening the ribbon (which was tightly knotted up now due to the struggle Glorfindel had put up), Glorfindel sat up and watched with a frown on his face. “Part of me really wanted to do this for you,” he admitted. He received a sad yet appreciative smile in return. “I mean, you really seem to get excited by this sort of stuff.”
“It is just the whole... trust and dominance thing,” Erestor explained. He made it sound as if it hardly mattered, but Glorfindel knew better from the sound of Erestor’s voice. “It makes no difference, really, I know you trust me, and there are other ways you let me dominate you.” He looked up and smiled not-so-innocently before returning to his task.
“Do I actually have to be tied up for it to work?” questioned Glorfindel.
“What do you mean?”
“Well... wait a moment before you undo all of that.” Glorfindel lay back down again and grasped the discarded restraints. He held onto them and twisted his arms so that they wound around until tight. Knowing that he had the power to let go of them, and that they would unravel and leave him unrestrained, put his mind at ease. “What about this?”
Erestor sat up a little and looked down the length of the bed, spying Glorfindel’s arms. “Works for me,” he said, enticed even more by the way the ribbon crisscrossed back and forth, his mind already coming up with other ways of incorporating the idea. He ran his hands up Glorfindel’s thighs and asked, “Do you recall the safe words now, should you need them?”
“No,” Glorfindel sheepishly admitted, “though I doubt I shall have need of them now. I trust you,” he added before Erestor could object.
In the years they had been together, much experimentation had taken place. Erestor’s first attempts at oral stimulation had been neophytic. The same could not be said now as he bowed his head and drew the head of Glorfindel’s penis into his mouth. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked on it several minutes while Glorfindel panted and attempted unsuccessfully to thrust up into the slick warmth.
Normally Erestor avoided taking the rest of the length this way, opting to lick from base to head, but this time he felt he owed it to his lover to make the same amount of effort he had. It only seemed right considering the circumstances he decided as he relaxed his throat and lowered his head until his lips brushed the base of his lover’s erection.
As for Glorfindel, he had more or less forgotten that, for all intents and purposes he was tied to the bed. He trembled as he had before, but now the tremors came as he did. His breathing was erratic as every last bit was swallowed. Erestor licked him clean for good measure before crawling up to lie down beside him. “You never did that before,” panted Glorfindel as he slid his arms down to embrace his lover, the ribbons left to wander across the sheets.
“You never did this before,” countered Erestor, his erection pressed against Glorfindel’s thigh. “I think you at least deserved that.”
“What about you?” Glorfindel asked as he reached down to fondle the hardened muscle.
“Turnabout is fair play,” responded Erestor. He rose up and held his hands out to Glorfindel, wrists pressed together, fingers curled inward in submission. “I surrender to you... master,” he added, bowing his head.
Glorfindel hurried to untie the ribbons from his ankles.
