Galadriel looked around the table after her husband had said a quick blessing. "Where is Haldir?" she wondered aloud as she selected a roll from the tray and passed it on to Orophin.
No one at the table said a word, everyone concentrating on the food being passed along. Galadriel redirected the question to her husband. "Do you know where Haldir is? He is hardly ever late for a meal."
Celeborn looked at each elf that looked at him, finally settling his gaze on his wife. "Not a clue," he answered, stabbing at his carrots.
Galadriel's brows rose a bit, but she said nothing as she picked up her utensils and began to cut Rumil's venison into small pieces. "I do hope he recalled he was to eat with us this evening and not at the borders." Again, no answer was received.
Several minutes later, Haldir entered, trying his best to conceal the sword that was tied to his right hand. He had little trouble sitting down, but didn't seem to know what to do with the sword once he was seated. Knowing there was no good way to put it onto the table, he twisted his wrist so that the sword was pointing to the floor and stabbed it into the wooden floor, causing a few of the elves around the table to jump in their chairs. He then proceeded, with some difficulty, to fill his plate and eat.
"Haldir," Galadriel finally said after watching her son suffer through half of the meal using his less dominant hand and messing up more of the table cloth than he had even when he was a youth, "I wonder, what are you doing with your sword at the table, and tied to your hand?"
"Well, I…oh, my, Lord Elrond is here!" Haldir pointed his fork in the peredhel's direction. "Whatever brings you to Lothlorien, my lord?"
"Haldir?"
"Yes, my lady?"
"The sword."
Haldir set his fork down, and unable to fold his hands before him, set his free elbow onto the table, and began to explain, "It is an ancient technique of the Galadhrim, to become fully accustomed to using a sword as if it were the extension of one's arm-"
"Haldir?"
"Yes, my lady?"
"I have had this room cleaned today as well."
Haldir sighed, looking up at his father, and then back to his mother. "I told Rumil I was going to tie his hand to his bow - and I'm sorry Rumil, but I was frustrated when you kept throwing your weapon down."
"I don't want to be an archer," spoke up Rumil.
"Yes, I know that now," said Haldir pointedly. Looking back at his mother, he said, "So, Adar tied my hand to my sword."
"No, Haldir," said Celeborn quietly. "Your Adar was very upset by your actions, but he did not do that. Your Lord was ashamed that one of his Initiates would act in such a manner, and he was the one who tied your hand to your sword. Before you teach a lesson, you should know the lesson yourself."
"Oh," managed Haldir. He looked at his plate, appetite lost. "May I then be excused?"
Celeborn gave a nod, and turned his attention to Elrond. "I was unaware that you would be arriving here, Lord Elrond. If I might ask, what is your reason for being here?"
Haldir, who had been halfway out the door, spun around and leaned in the doorway, awaiting Elrond's answer with a grin on his face.
"Well," began the elflord, picking up his goblet of wine, "I know that the entire family has been very cordial since the announcement of our engagement," he said, moving his other hand to take hold of Celebrian's, "but I wanted to be sure that the sentiment is sincere. Not that I would be upset if it were not, but I want everyone to be completely honest."
Lord Celeborn frowned. "As I have counseled you both before, it should not matter what anyone else thinks of your future marriage, all that matters is your thoughts and feelings for one another. However, if it worries you what the rest of the family thinks, I believe now would be the time for those here to speak their minds." He looked around the table, and even to Haldir, whom he expected to say something, but it was Rumil who spoke.
"Oh! Well, that explains why you hid under Clebri's bed - I'd hide under there, too, if I thought everyone didn't like me." The elfling did not stop as his father's fork dropped to his plate, nor when his mother covered her mouth with her napkin, despite the fact everyone knew she was covering her snicker. "Let me put it this way," continued Rumil. "If we were all little puppies, we'd be wagging our tails and leaking on the floor right now, we're just that happy for you both." Galadriel had to press her napkin directly against her lips, while the one silent member of the table, Glorfindel, nearly choked on his carrots at the comment.
"Not me!" interjected Orophin. "Wagging my tail, yes, but I'm not peeing on the floor for you."
"Orophin, language!" scolded Galadriel, sobering.
"Well, I'm not," he argued. "Maybe chew on a slipper for him or something, but I'm not wetting the floor."
"I think what my sons are trying to say," said Celeborn, "is that we are delighted that you will be part of the family. Now. Shall I ask the reason for your being under my unwed daughter's bed, or would you prefer to assist my eldest son in learning how to properly use his sword?"
Elrond was out of his chair and to the door almost instantly. "Come, let us get you out of this silly mess," he said, leaving the room.
"Thank you, my lord," answered Haldir as he followed after him. "Perhaps after we practice, we might partake in that bit of intercourse previously offered?"
Celeborn picked up his wine and sipped it, then turned to his wife. "By intercourse, they do mean conversation, do they not?"
"Perhaps, my lord," said Galadriel, wiping at the gravy that had somehow made its way onto Rumil's arm, "it is better not to ask questions."
"Perhaps, my lady," said Celeborn, pushing his plate away in anticipation of dessert, "we should further discuss this over a bit of intercourse later."
Though Celebrian and Orophin both looked down to their plates and blushed, Galadriel simply smiled, and replied, "Perhaps the discussion should not wait."
Both the lord and lady stood and walked casually from the room. Once in the hallway, however, their pace quickened, and those remaining in the dining room listened to the thumping of feet on the stairs until they reached the chamber directly above, three elves looking up at the ceiling while an elfling drank the rest of his juice.
"I'm done eating," announced Celebrian, pushing her chair from the table. Orophin nodded, following his sister out of the room.
Rumil looked across the table at Glorfindel, who was quite composed and beginning to eat the cherries he had taken from the fruit bowl. "When they say intercourse," said the elfling, "they do know that I know they are talking about copulating, don't they?"
"And that's because you have such an excellent language instructor," nodded Glorfindel. "Now, little one, what words shall we teach you tomorrow?"
