"Did I ever tell you about the time I was going to write you with a whole family already living in Lothlórien when the Fellowship came to visit?"
Haldir looked up from the sofa, where he was playing with the etch-a- sketch, fuzzy slippers on his feet, hair still messy for he had fallen asleep on the couch and now was loathe to give up the comfortable spot. "No. I had a family in Lothlórien?"
"Wife and three kids." Zhie shrugged. "Of course, I was also on the fence about the Helm's Deep incident at that point."
"Less back injury, more elleth. Tell me about my wife that never was," he said, tossing the toy aside.
"I didn't much think too far in depth on her. Just your average sort of girl, actually, something like what Nenniach ended up being."
"You gave my brother my wife?" Haldir asked dryly.
"No, not really. I said like her, not her. She was blonde."
Rolling his eyes, he cranes his neck to look where Zhie is sitting on the floor, sorting through photographs. "And hair color makes so much difference."
"She was different. Just trust me."
"Alright, so she was different. What else was different? Tell me about these conjured up children."
Zhie scratches her head. "There was two younger ones, a really little boy and a little girl, but not too little, she had a crush on Legolas. And your oldest son, he was... well, very much like Celebdreth, come to think of it."
Blinking, Haldir sat up and crossed his arms. "This is really beginning to sound as if you gave Rúmil my family."
"Not all of it! I mean, I didn't, how silly would that be," she mumbled, shoving the photos into the album sheets. After a few moments of silence, she said, "I had this great little kitchen scene all in mind if I'd have gone that way on things. Fellowship's there, you invite Legolas on by for a real elven meal... so, you're in the kitchen with the girl-"
"You didn't name my children?"
Sheepishly, Zhie looks over. "Hey, be happy you eventually have a son... poor Erestor, you know how long I promised him a wife? I'm surprised he didn't... do whatever it is periainu do when they get upset."
"Poor Erestor? You let him crawl in bed with Galadriel multiple times." Haldir thinks for a moment. "Which, should squick me, but as a muse, anything non-canon just rolls right off..."
"Don't pout at me like that, did I or did I not write you an alternate universe story where you've got the hots for her?" Mumbling something about ungrateful muses, she goes back to her work until she feels a nudge against her shoulder. Haldir has stealthfully snuck off of the couch, having given up his spot to a small pack of chattering snarves and pikachu, and is sitting next to Zhie. "So, I'm in the kitchen with the girl..."
"...and your son gets it into his head that the fellowship thing - your older son, not the younger one - that the fellowship thing sounds really, really great and comes up with all of these plans he has to tag along with them. He doesn't, of course, he's barely reached his majority, but he entertains the idea for a while. Then Legolas mentions that there is a dwarf in the fellowship, and your son, still the older one, is like 'Ada, why didn't you tell us there was a dwarf? That's so cool!' or whatever it is elflings these days say. He ends up bringing Gimli by; comical adventures of a dwarf and the son of the warden ensue, including much fun with tree climbing. Or, they would have. It seemed like a good idea at the time." Zhie looks over to Haldir, who has a very contemplative look. "What?"
Raising one finger, he jabs it at her shoulder. "Poke."
"Oh, no. I get that from enough people already, not you, too!"
Mustering the saddest expression possible, he tried again. "Poke." For extra emphasis, he tapped her a few more times.
"I can't write everything I possibly thought of to do to you! Get that smirk off your face, do you know how long that would take?"
"Probably forever. But I have the time," he reminded her.
"You might, but I don't. Besides, I wouldn't start with that one, anyhow. I think I'd probably - hey, did I ever tell you about the time that I started plotting Recovery to happen in the Shire?"
"What?!"
