It had been sixteen days since the ‘Infamous Orophin Incident’ at the Oropher Memorial Academy of Higher Learning. The students were abuzz as they took their places, and although they had enjoyed the two weeks of freedom from pop quizzes and exponential numbers, they were hoping to return to the lessons they had expected to be getting. “It would be great if Haldir was back,” commented Calisil dreamily.
“It would be even better if Orophin were still here,” countered Elrohir. Most of the class tended to agree.
At the exact second class was to begin, the door was opened sharply. All of the pupils turned to look as their new teacher marched smartly down the main aisle. He stopped when he encountered a satchel that had leaned over into the aisle. “What,” he asked pointedly, tapping it with his boot, “is THIS doing here?”
“Sorry, it has my lunch in it,” apologized the student whom it belonged to. He reached down to move it out of the way, but the riding crop in Rumil’s hand slapped down and struck the bag, making the student jump in his seat.
“There is to be no food in my classroom,” said Rumil in a stern, even voice.
The student’s eyes widened. “But... it is only my lunch. M-my Nana made it for me.”
Glaring down at the student, Rumil demanded, “Is your Nana here?”
“Uhm... no?”
“No, she is not. Because when you are in my class, I am your Nana and I am your Ada. Are you clear on that?”
“Y-yes...”
“I said, are you clear on that?!”
“Yes!” The youngling looked as if he was about to wet himself, and he swallowed hard. Many of the other students giggled.
Rumil turned his head sharply. “Something funny? Something anyone wants to write a two-thousand page essay about?”
“You mean, two-thousand words,” corrected Calisil.
In an instant, Rumil was standing in front of her desk, staring straight at her, eyes unblinking. “I know what I said, and I meant what I said. Do you need something better to do than correct people, little miss know-it-all?”
“No, sir.”
“Maybe a two-thousand page essay?”
“No, sir.”
“Maybe I should make it three-thousand, just for you, considering just what a know-it-all in-tell-ect you happen to be. Is that it?”
“N-no, sir!”
“You think you are smarter than me?”
“No, sir!”
“Then sit there, and keep your mouth shut.” Rumil turned away from the now sniffling, lip-trembling elleth to the ellyn fumbling to keep his sack upright. “And you! Get that food out of here! Now!”
Rumil made his way to the front as Calisil buried her face in her hands and the flustered ellyn took his sack out of the room. He threw the riding crop onto the desk, followed by the bag he brought with him. “Are you crying?” demanded Rumil as he took two books out of his own satchel.
Calisil tried to answer, but she merely whimpered and shook her head, wiping desperately at her tears.
“Good. There is no crying in mathematics. Now, where did you leave off?”
Onto the desk, Rumil tossed one of the books. The spine had thick golden writing on it, and everyone could see it was titled ‘The Life and Times of the Great Kinslayers’. He put the other on the podium and opened it up. When no one spoke or raised their hands, Rumil said, “Well, it seems whatever you learned you have completely forgotten during your two week hiatus. Thus we shall start over at the beginning.”
Rumil went back to his bag and pulled out a smaller sack. Then he walked to a small table in the corner and pulled it with ease to the front of the room. It was now that the ellyn from earlier reentered. Looking up, Rumil shouted, “No latecomers. You can come back tomorrow.”
“What? But I--!”
“Class begins on time. I am here on time, you need to be here on time.”
“But I—“
“Out, or do you want to fail the entire term?”
Confused, and not knowing what else to do, the ellyn picked up his slateboard and book and left the room. Elladan and Elrohir exchanged worried glances. They had not seen Rumil for a few years, and wondered if he had always been this way, or if it was a new development.
“So, we are going to start with a little addition. Miss know-it-all, you get to answer this one, owing to your being so smart. And there is an incentive to getting the answer right,” he added. “Each wrong answer someone gives, we stay another ten minutes after class. Each question someone refuses to answer is an hour. Everyone understand that?” Reluctantly, twenty-seven heads bobbed up and down.
Rumil reached into the sack and felt around for a moment. “Now, let us say I happen to be in the forest hunting orc, and I kill four of them and chop off their ears.” Onto the table, Rumil dumped a handful of shriveled up pieces of reddish-brown skin, slightly pointed at one end and curved at the other. Many of the students frowned or grimaced, while a few of the ellyn grinned or leaned forward for a closer look.
“The next day,” continued Rumil, “I go into the same forest and encounter four more orcs and chop off their ears as well.” He dropped another handful onto the table. “If I added together all of their ears, how many would I have?”
Calisil rubbed her nose, gave a little sniffle, and said, “You would have sixteen altogether.”
“Would I?” Rumil waited until Calisil nodded. “Let us find out if you are right.” He picked up the first pile and began to count them, dropping them back to the table as he did so. “One, two three, four five, six... seven, and eight.” He moved to the second pile and counted this in the same manner. “One, two... three, four, five, six, seven.” He went to the board as Calisil’s mouth fell open in defeat and wrote:
8 + 7 = 15
“Oh, off by one. Terrible thing, that, but I only have fifteen orc ears.”
“But...” Calisil clenched her fists atop her desk in frustration. “But you have four orcs and then four orcs and each of them has two ears, which makes sixteen!”
“Ah, but you assume that they all had two ears. Not every orc has two ears. A lot of them get hungry and lop one off for protein. I see it all the time.”
“Are those your souvenirs or something?” asked Elladan, who was both disgusted and intrigued. “Like, trophies of war?”
Rumil gave Elladan the oddest look, as if the young one had an extra growth of a head on his shoulder. “That would be very wasteful. No, no, these are not trophies,” announced Rumil as he picked one up. “This is my lunch.” He shoved one into his mouth and chewed on it happily. “Ah, there is nothing in the morning like a little orc to get you going.” He picked one up and held it out to Elladan. “Care to try one?”
Leaning back away from it, Elladan shook his head furiously. “No. No, thank you.”
“Oh, no, please, I insist. In fact, I think I have enough for everyone, so if you do very well, we will have a little celebration at the end of the class and all of us will have an orc ear. How does that sound?”
- - -
“Oh, you did no such thing!” chuckled Erestor. Glorfindel and Elrond were both suffering from laughing attacks, wiping tears from their eyes as Rumil told the story of the day’s events.
Grinning mischievously, Rumil nodded. “I had to keep up the appearance of it. No worries, though, it was only some pork rind that was baked. They are a little chewy and a little crispy without a lot of flavor, but nothing to harm anyone.”
“Did you save any for me?”
The small group, who was meeting privately in Glorfindel and Erestor’s study for dinner, looked to see Haldir at the doorway. “I thought you were not coming for another three months! It is so good to see you!” Elrond quickly regained his composure and air of regality as he stood and motioned to another seat. “It is a pleasant surprise to see you here.”
“When I found out from Nana and Celebrian what was going on, I decided it might be best for me to return sooner rather than later. I left two days behind Rumil, but I pushed the horse to get here as fast as I could.” Haldir sat down and helped himself to some of the food that was spread out. “So, how bad is it?”
“Oh, pretty bad, but that might be my fault,” grinned Rumil. “Good to see you, brother... enjoy the meal and I will fill you in on the details.”
